BBBB i Yij&yy/Sy'M dMHiAr i^iiTKflrw Ztr t/TT * a# .tBK^EKNCK MSmJm. ‘, * r# * *7 2L« _• jDK^s Jfc;\vW^ > * Hiiv 1 ?* r . -. * r ' rJW* v.i Hi ■ ■. ill a si ■ ^essb^sspi ^ 1 : ' • im i y< .y. «| • «■ F^*^_ . , --—. ■ —s. * -_ % 1 v*‘ ^ * *•» m m. i (e* Ns 'Mw SWZ It, 'III 1 v M _ ib %$|fe%ff: K 5fiKs X. 9 Hang up tfyfe Be sure Tiie dear Has ne#i Blit I’ve to And she And Pm su She loo **\L $£ I 5«* v 'Mv W- Dear! wh It doesn Such little pi Away from But, then, It will ne Why, Sant For anyt $2? ue eyes, it wise. stmas I know wha Pve thou I’ll borrow The Ion And you’l Right And wr And On. & baby st plan dma, n; ear mother, Writ & 3F - stocking rnier here, her, Santa, last year, lessedest baby! efore you go, st cram her stocking with goodies From the top clean down to the toe/ >/l (p-^csf Chsi/tVsf /> ft 0^H V f //2m«L -y^( ^ -Jj^ Qc^cJ^ *77?/*^ ^W- Q^r-oisO J * K * A ■ u It 3 JjTV"/' 7^- ^ A ^'t ou ^? ^ &uPp ~$A/i^ SX^M. ftfcc \9 y^i^(A_ ^ /> ux, J <7^0-Cls0 0^70^ "J^C. C>l^l*J*-^^Ls^ cA fa ’J fa^OVO jA—tsuU^f-' ST' r / ->* * ' Those Bloomers Again. “They quarreled about a woraap, did they?” asked the police magistrate. “I don’t know, your honor, replied the policeman. “Don’t know!” , “No your honor. It had the face or a woman and tlio togs of a man. It’s hard eruessin these days.” Chicago Seemingly the Figure of a Slim and Grace ful Fad. From the Gentlewoman. , ^ From the San She Can Do It Now. The woman now just toes the scratch. And daily knocks out idle rumors; Now, when she wants to scratch <* match, She does it on he little bloomers ATCHISON GLOBULES. thing well, qui If you can't do a doing it. If a, man has no money, and no dog, he has no friends. There is no better investment than to learn to keep your mouth shut. To every bridegroom, it appears that his bride wears a halo for a night cap. When a woman fails as a wife, she is usually ambitious to become a mission missionary. ary. It is awfully hard to appreciate the the good points of a dog when a flea is biting you. It is hard for a man to say a fool Next month the federated woman's clubs In Lincoln will convene for con-ultation. In fancy I can see them quit their tubs fr And tax their fruitful minds in preparation For an assault upon their faithful '‘nubs” Of lasting damage to the ruputation Of all mankind, obtuse or Doble-hearted, If not reflecting on the dear departed, St. Paul declared, if I have read aright, should not talk in public places their bloomers—not for pistols but lor curling* irons. The next “spirited” affair at Atch Atchison ison is promised when the corn carni carnival val gets ripe. Ed Howe says a woman will never p*et used to bloomers, because she That women But rather keep for most part out of sight And come to church with veils upon their • faces; If searching for religious truth and light, The husband on these things is “keeping cases,” And shows without a moment's hesitation The road that leads directly to salvation. If Paul was right these ^vomen must be wrong Who meet, all vexing questions to determine; Imagine such a giddy-headed throng, Then see their husbands at the wash-tuba squirmin'; Just bloomers now—but then it won't be long ”1111 these old girls will plead to wear the ermine, And when my wife is ripe for such an honor, Good bye, old world, this chicken is a goner. I do not think a woman’s mind was formed To tackle a political abstraction; To see the darling children fed and warmed I think should be her greatest satisfaction; | The women on the rostrum who have stormed an, more Why not?” The pockets are so ea'sy to find that husband has gotten into the habit going through them when I am ep. ”—Washington Star. ary summer drinks is considered, it is little wonder that people prefer beer. The trouble is, a good citizen is liable to leave town of bis own accord, but an undesirable one can’t be driven away. Every man who is married is sup supposed posed to be happy, but it is actually known that a man who is Single, is inr.kv.—Atchison Globe. A QUESTION Supposing thirty years ago (my but that seems an age), That bicycles were then, as now, the great prevailing rage; Suppose the girls wore bloomers then, as our fair cyclists clo, Would hoops, then all the fashion, have been bifur bifurcated, cated, too? Minnie McIntyre. cooked in an oven without ventilatic moderate, and that the Ranges will Mrs. Moulton on Suffrage. Louise Chandler Moulton in the New York Sun. You ask me to give you my views as regards woman suffrage. It is a question with which I do not actively concern myself. M hen the majority of American women wish for suit rage I hope they will obtain it, but at present I do not think it is the wish of the majority. I er- sonally 1 do not desire it, because it seems to me that it would add to the number of un unthinking thinking and ignorant voters; and I would rather that suffrage should be restricted in instead stead of widened. For myself, if suffrage were given to women I should consider it my duty to vote, and as I should not wish to vote ignorantly I should be compelled to devote to the study of political issues time and strength which I would prefer to use otherwise. I believe that by the law of nature men and women have different spheres. Men lead our armies and sail our ships and cable our seas. I trust in their chivalry, as well as in their strength, and am quite willing they should be our Presidents and governors and members ol Congress. Yet should the majority of women desire and win what seems to me the onerous and undesirable right of suffrage, I should feel bound to bear my share of the burden patiently and fulfill its exactions conscien conscientiously. tiously. « — Smaller Than Tom Thumb. From the New Y’ork Times. “The showman Barnum was always equal to a situation,” said a Saratoga woman the other day. “Years ago, when Tom Thumb was his only attraction, he came to Saratoga and at attempted tempted to give an entertainment. The village fathers, however, scared him away by the price of their license, and lie went to Ballston, tho next town, and advertised the perform performance. ance. A special train was run from here and a great many of us went down on it. When the curtain went up Barnum cauie out and made a little speech. ‘Ladies and gentlemen/ lie began, ‘it was my first intention to give this entertainment in Saratoga, but I soon discov discovered ered there were some men in that place so much smaller than my famous Tom Thumb that it would be useless to attempt competition with them/ The Saratogians laughed as hard as the Ballston folks, and the hit was retailed a day/* .. _ SEVEN TO ONE. Out in a merry western state There dwelt an intellectual madam, Who. when new fads were started 'round, With great acuteness, often had ’em. Her chief concern was “Woman's rights,” And with patience rarely noted, She cheered her little band along. Until, at last, she really voted. Her step was proud, when at the polls She gave her principles expression. She went there with opinions firm, Resolved to hear of no concession, But good intentions often stray— Mistakes will win. while wise men wonder, She found—and shed a little tear— Her single vote was quite snowed under. Across the line, uot far away, Another woman lived obscurely. She read the papers, as they came, And told her views, though most demurely, The scenes of public toil she shunned, But gave the love which tones and mellows To sons who sprang up, lad by lad, Till they were seven manly fellows. And in the twilight of her life She pondered well, while she was resting. To make her mind up on some points The villagers were then contesting. She couldn't vote, but still they had Tne benefit of her reflection: For seven men went mother’s way, And seven carried the election. —Washington Star. Of course women will work cheaper than men, and in trade the law of supply and de demaud maud is tlie arbiter. Some pe.ople use the argument that women are more honest than men. 1 do not believe that women are naturally so; only they are not open to the same temptations that men are, for the reason | that they all expect to marry some day, if not a rich man, at least, one who is well to do. Sup Suppose pose that all the women employed in this city in any business capacity should take the stand and say we will not work but give up our positions to men would it not be bene beneficial ficial to every one in the city, from landlord down? How? you ask. It would create a de demand mand for men and they would naturally re receive ceive better salaries, and if they did they would want a home, not a bed in fourth floor back. And to have a home he would have to have a house. A man and wife would need three rooms at least, while before probably t-tfere were four people crowded into two I Tro ENVER THE EMPLOYMENT OF WOMEN. The Advanced Woman. She may stand upon the corner in her bloomers, if she chooses; She can smoke a cigarette in public, too; She may think up shocking thoughts and dedi dedicate cate them to the muses— In fact, do anything that’s truly new. But do not yet repine, Oh, creatures masculine, Nor think creation’s altered in its plan; For she always wants to do Things she’s not expected to. And she doesn’t care to do them when she can. A foremost place in politics—she’ll have it if she pleases; She’ll worry over bargains in appropriation bills; And decorate the gavel which untutored man now " seizes With gilt and pretty ribbons till with joy the eye it fills. She may do It all in style For a very little while, But the ultimate reshlt we calmly scan; For she always wants to do Things she’s not expected to, And she doesn’t care to do them when she can. —Washington Star. Hip Common Struggle. From the Chicago Times-Iierakl. The matter of finding any easy manner of death doesn’t bother us half as much as it does to find an easy way of living. Ouo of the Causes of Coxeyistu, ami Other Isms. To The Star: When Treasurer Spinner first employed women iu the Treasury he was compelled to do so for the reason there was a dearth of males owing to the repeated calls for volunteers and the draft ordered by Presi President dent Lincoln to crush the rebellion. The men of the North were patriotic and made the states what they are to-day under one govern government ment and under one flag. This flag is good enough for me and for my wife, God bless her, although she is compelled to work as hard as I to eke out an existence (it is not living). My mother taught me that a woman's sphere in life was at home, and she had as her teacher the Bible. I do not mean by this that she should have no enjoyment or pleasure. She should co where her husband goes and no man should go where he would not have his wife go. The employment of women iu all branches of business has done as much as anything else towards what we term Coxeyism. Why? Is it uot possible that iu all the great numbers of the unemployed there are men intelligent enough to serve as bookkeepers, cashiers, tele telegraph graph operators, stenographers and in fact almost any line of business besides that ol j manual labor? I venture the assertion, and I believe that if it could be verified, that three- fourths of the total number of the so called peace armies are unmarried. Not having kept tally ou the numbers of each one (and they have arisen in almost every state) I do not know how mauy there are, but it must be 100,- 000 men and of that number 75,000 are celi celibates bates through force of circumstances. Think of it mothers, fathers and brothers before your daughter or sister joins the ranks and enters a business career, it means 150,000 people who have no home, but who will degenerate into a race of nomads never resting but traveling from boarding house to boarding house in a vaiu endeavor to get food “like mother used to cook.” A man sees a woman iu business, she has a pretty face and is ladylike in her deportment, and to all appearances is everything a woman should be, but, alas! she lacks one essential, that of knowing how to make a home, never having learned to cook, or sew, or do any of those things that a woman should know. They get married, and, as she, knows little of cook cooking ing or housekeeping, the servant is the house housekeeper keeper and she, as a rule, is ignorant of the cares of a home, for she comes from a class that haye never had anything more than the bare necessaries of life. Then how can she be expected to know how to cook well when she has never had good material to use. As a re result sult the man is dissatisfied and votes “marriage a failure.” rooms. This makes a demand for 200 per cent more rooms for the same number of peo people ple and of course they would want furniture, carpets, etc. Then the grocery man would come in, the butcher and the baker, and all lines of trade would be benefited. I am satis satisfied fied there would be more enjoyment and less causes for Young Women’s Christian associa associations, tions, Women’s Christian Temperance unions, Homes of the Good Siiepherd, etc,. The phil philanthropists anthropists and the business men would not be called on so often for this charity or that home, for the rescue of fallen women and the Provident association would be compelled to close its doors for lack of business. May God hasten the day that such au institution should be obliged to suspend. Would it not be better for firms to employ men at better salaries than be compelled to submit to being drained, under the mantle of charity, to accomplish the same purpose? I am sure it would make men more upright. more generous and the natural resuftof better men would be that men would L/ink more of women and in this way f ,Vay make the world better. The women suf suffragists fragists are doing what they think is right, but they could hasten the desired end by fifty years if they would work as hard to keep women from entering business as they now work to get them iu. I know of a circumstance in this city where a young woman is in a position and has been there for some time while her brother, who is at the head of a family, is without employment and can obtain none.. Does it mean that the wife and sister is to become the supporter of the household? The good book does not so teach us, nor did the son of God give us this precept. If a woman is dependent entirely ou herself for support as a widow or orphan I do not blame her tor obtaining employment when and where she can, but three-fourths are not so dependent; they want to dress better and be more independent. If their fathers or brothers got better returns lor their labor, they could dress better and have more enjoyment and relieve the mother who, by this, time, has passed the meridian of life and who of all in the family has the least pleasure and who de deserves serves it the most. No young man takes her to theater, bail or park, the son takes someone elses daughter and the husband cannot afford to, and, well, mother is too old to go anyhow, she does not enjoy it. Do not believe it, for that is the hour of life when mother likes to see the flowers, the trees, hear the birds and ihe prattle of children, for she enjoys it now more than when her children were small for she then had the cares of a family and had no time to give to enjoyment. If the father or son were receiving better salaries all along the line mother would not have to wait so long for the uew dress or spring bonnet, and Mary, May me or Frances could get hers just as soon as now and she would have more enjoyment out of it. And then there would be fewer premature old wo women men ill the world and many women would preserve their beauty and health for a much longer period than now. The question of celibacy is so important that the government of France has ordered an official inquiry as to its cause and effects and to find a remedy if possible. I think that the remedy will be let no woman be employed to do what a man can do ns well. I trust this will be heeded by some employer where men will answer as well for the same purpose as women. A Benedict. gnate from , one eight m ay •may On the Bois tie Bologne HOW THEY I> TFT Ell Only a Bottle of Ale. From the Chicago Inter Ocean. This is the story of two ladies, a bottle of ale and a corkscrew. The ladies, who, by the way, are well known in social circles, thought they knew how to open the bottle of ale, but the bottle entered into a conspiracy with the corkscrew against them. This is the way it happened: They purchased a bottle of ale to be used From Oil Bias TJi© Qnestion Superiority Between Man .» ' and - Wonpan. , ( Emm /friprilneo&M.s Magazine/ : - r.- /•••' ? : . .Man is ,a. c^eatrure of;; cast-iron habits; woman r! kdapts >-herse 1 f, to circumstances ■ this teethe foundation of :the moral dif difference ference between them. ,l - ” A man does not attempt to drive a nail unless he has a hammer; a woman When a man writes, everything must be in apple pie order; pen, paper and ink must be just so, a profound silence must reign while he accomplishes this important function. A woman gets any sheet of pa paper, per, tears it perhaps from a book or port- iolio, sharpens a- pencil with the scissors, puts the paper on an old atlas, crosses her feet, balances herself on her chair, and confides her thoughts to paper, changing from pencil to pen and vice versa from time tOriime, nor doe? she care if the children r.omp or the cook comes to speak to her A man storms if the .blotting paper is not conveniently near; a woman dries the ink by blowing on it, waving the paper in the air, or holding it near a lamp or fire. • . t x . - A man' drops a letter unhesitatingly in th^j box; a. woman rereads the address, aseurbs herself that the envelope is sealed the stamp secure, and then throws it vio violently lently into the box. A’man can cut a book only with a pa paper per cutter; a woman deftly inserts a hair hairpin pin and the book is cut. For a man “good-by” signifi.es the end ot a convefsatioh' 1 and the moment of his departure; for a woman it is the begin beginning ning of a new chapter, for it is just when they are taking leave of each other that women think of the most important topics of conversation. A woman ransacks her brain trying to mend a.broken object; a man puts it aside and forgets that for which there is no remedy. Which - is the superior? THE TUG OF WAR as a tonic during the recent hot days. But how to open it taxed their ingenuity. One suggested a fork, the other the scissors and a hair pin, but the cork refused to give. A new hat pin with silver mounting was hopelessly ruined, as were two gold nut picks. As a last resort a corkscrew was used. It should be said in justice to the ale that it had become considerably shaken up during the maneuvers with the fork, scissors, hairpin, hatpin and nut picks. So that when the turn of the corkscrew THE RESULT lhe Effect of Knickerbockers. From the New York Sun. About the giddiest bicycling outfit yet seen hereabouts whisked through Prospect park Saturday afternoon, to the shocked t t e . sta ifi Brooklynites jog- nmfih ° ng 111 the,r farm-wagon-like rigs and the consternation of the solemn park policemen. There were two of the outfit™ They weren’t bloomer rigs by any means unless the Parisian understanding of th* teim be accepted. The wearers were two plump, dashing young women, and they be bestrode strode each a fine nickel plated racing ma- chme, witli a handle bar as low as the sad- dle. U -not a trifle lower. What they wore b, ack knickerbock- eis, that hadn t a wrinkle in them, reach- W* fo the bend of the knee, and fas fastened tened there with a row of four 1>ig pearl buttons Tight fitting brown leggings con continued tinued from the knees to the ankles and the w ?. re encased in black oxford shoes, with silver buckles. They wore tight fif- ting little jackets of black cloth that bare barely ly covered the hips, and where open at the front showed a man’s shirt front,a standing collar, and a severe black bow. On their heads they wore black felt derby hats Phey bent low over the handle bars, hump humped ed their backs, and scorched through the park at a pace that would have caused their summary arrest if the policemen] hadn t been too paralyzed with amazement' c ^?r.P t ^ ie V f^ ian took at them open mouth mouthed. ed. they hustled out on the Ocean boule- ard and off at a scorching pace toward Coney Island. came the contents of the bottle were dangerously near the explosion point. “Now you -hold the bottle while I pull,” said one. “There. Don’t let go, now ” Pop, hiss, swish! And when the head of the house came home that night and asked his wife why the -dining rqom was in such disorder she only said: “We left the window open and the wine .-**1 ui.i-j.nno New Woman. Women who pride themselves to-da a 1)011 their all around ability an knowledge of everything must sit i humility before the accomplishment recorded of Mrs. Hannah Woolley, wM a governess in the reign of Charles II was moved to write “A Guide to the Fe male Sex.” In the volume her own eel ucation was thus summarized: “Th things I pretend greatest skill in ar. all works wrought with a needle, al transparent works, shell work, mos< work, also cutting of prints, and adorn adorning ing rooms or cabinets or stands with tnem, al! kinds of beugle works upon wyres, all manner of p-etty toys, rocks made with shells or in sweets, frames for looking glasses, feathers of crewel for the corners of beds, preserving all kinds of sweetmeats, wet or dry, set setting ting out of banquets, making of salves, oyntments, waters, cordials, healing any wounds not desperately dangerous, knowledge in discerning the symptoms of most diseases, and giving cn^r, blew in inmiiirTTniiiiiiJiiimiimrnmniiuimrrmniiiiiiinm. WHEN JACK PROPOSED I meant to keep quite calm and cool, And not behave, just like a fool„ When Jack proposed. Intended to be dignified, And say, “Perhaps I'll be your bride If I’m disposed.” In spite of all I thought to do, My plans so cherished, ne'er came true, When Jack proposed. I laid my head against his breast, And—Jack can tell you all the rest, If he’s disposed. —Curley in Life PHILLOSOPHICAL NOTES Mentally, only, man is the su animal. No man is a romantic hero to a ried woman. Prosperity is one of the things don t think we have until we lose it. A man never thinks but once that woman’s temper isn't loaded. A man can’t take a woman's word f anything—he must take a dozen more. The superlative egotist is the im vidual who linds fault with evervthii except himself. mai Divided Long Center Mis, Wiggins Paints Her House By Clara Augusta. r I 'VE been as busy as a bee all Winter, and it's !uc£forle that I've had enuff to keep my blood ^circulating; for, if I'd a-hcd to setst.l, I should have froze to death, with the mercury fall- imr down among the zeroes. I’ve braided all Reuben’s old trousers and coats ! up into rugs, and I declare! when the poor man got out in the rain the other day, and wet hisself clean through, there warn’t enuff every-day clothes in the house for him to shift hisself into, and he had to put on his black trousers and his swaller-tail co^t, that he’s never made a practice of wearing anywheres except to prayer-meeting, and Sunday s. Reuben was mad as a bob-tailed dog in fly-time, and sez he, giving the cat a li’ist out ot the rock rocking-cheer, ing-cheer, where she’d got curled up for a nap, sez hG ‘‘ Mirandy, vou’d ort to be ashamed of yourself, a-cutting up them good clothes of mine. And them gray panterloons warn’t wore out at all, except a place on the knees and mebbe they needed to be reseated.” Sez he; ” It’s luck that I’m put togeth together er solid, for you’d braid me into a rug, soul and body, if you could tear me up into strips as you can a pair of pantaloons.” „ rno \nd he kicked at that cat agin, jest as sh « ^ a-gwine to git back into the cheer. Strange to that, when men-folks git mad, they alwas spit out their spite onto the cat or dog. Jest as if that am- mal was to blame for my braiding up them Pitches 1 But I was sorry enuff afterward, when Keuben came in from the barn, with his swaller-tail a spattered over with milk; he’d been a-milkm n ,and the cow had took a notion to step into the pail to soak her corns, and the milk had flew all over the coat-tails of the pardner of my joys and sorrows. It took me two hours, with a sponge and some amomiay, and my eyes and nose '^tering as ‘ 1 had the chronical influenza, to scrub that milk off. And then I didn’t git it off, for Reuben never could stand still a minnit to have anything done to him and, as soon as I got a good grab on them tails, and got the sponge sot right to scrub, he’d fetch a whisk, and I’d lose my bolt entirely. Mar-aret Ann, that is our darter from a city school, has got a pile of new idees brought home with her. Bent’s Corner is an old-fashioped place and the folks don’t travel round to any great ex extent. tent. And naterally we hain't got ahead so fur as some parts of the world. We still think that it ain’t nice and pious for a man to have more than one wife to a time, and we shouldn't be likely to elect an absconding Canada tramp or a bank-cash bank-cashier ier to be deacon of our meeting-house—not if we knowed about it; and we still think that it looks better not to go a-fishing Sundays. ^Margaret Ann, a*most as soon as she got home, begun to complain about how old-styled our house looked It needed refurnishing, and repainting, re-almost everything else. “ Why, mamma,” sez she—she has taken to calling me ‘ ma’ and ‘ mam mamma,’ ma,’ jest as if she was a three-year-old—” you have no idee how superanimated our interior loots, j There is nothing asthetick or rershashy about it.” “ i should hope not, indeed,” sez I. “ I shouldn t want anything with such a sounding name as them has got, in my insides, if that is what you mean. “ Ma, how dreadfully vulgar you are 1 If Arabella De Jones should come to see me, and hear you talk, she would fall into a state of nervous prostration. She is so delicate and refined, that she would faint away if she should be in the room with a pair of those dreadful cowhide boots that pa wears, and I have known her to have a spasm when she has in inhaled haled the breath of someone who has been eating onions 1 Oh, she is altogether too etheral for this mundane spear! ’ ’ “ Then I should advise her to go to a spear where they don’t eat onions,” sez I. “ Bent’s Corner is no place for her.” “ Rut, ma, why can’t we fix up the old house?” sez Margaret Ann, a-tipping her head on one side to see how the little topknot of a curl panned out, | that she’d been a-winding onto a curling-iron. And I full half of the hair in it stuck fast to the iron, n ? nd the smell of burnt hair was so strong in the house, that I had to burn some coffee on top of the stove L to fumigate the air. asrSS Irstfss t Jked atle so much and used so many words “Mai mal” cried Margaret Ann, can t jou ♦w hod never been aired sense they was put into kinder screw yourseli round ana get ouu. WeLteron theSe that I give in. I could have .. Yo u might try it on yerseU,” sez 1 feelmrmaa lod out agfn wordf;! two syllables ; but, when enuff to break something right in twb writhe • 1 . a ^ w-v yT I I n I OC ’ER they come to be shot at me eight and ten syllables long, I went down before ’em like grass before a four-hoss mowing-machine. She talked the scheme into her pa in much the same way, and got ten dollars out of him and the liberty to do as she was a-mind to. We harnessed the old mare into waggon and went over to Smithville, and got the painter there . . -i a rACm. poker “ and see how you liked it, with nine hun hundred dred and fifty nails a-sticking into your back and stummuk and clawing the in’ards out of ye.” Squire Power was intirely overcome, and he stag staggered gered back and fell into a cheer that Reuben had bought at an auction because it was two-hundred and°twenty years old, and Washington had sot into it. Margaret Ann had jest painted the back of it went over to Smith ville, and got the painter tnere it . Margaret An mu — seed to mix us some paint, and we bought some room- with some yaller daisies and I 5 elled o paper, and some red curtains, and some prepared the Squire a-going: „ £rlue and some varnish, and some tacks with brass “ Don’t set into that cheer! Its- heads and other things too numerous to men- But the Squire had sot before I got the words o neads, anu 6 ^ the deed was done . And, when he got up, ’ We begun on the front-room first. We piled all there w,as that bunch of daisiesand thatsuuflower the furniture into the front-entry, and set a table fortygraplied onto the back of hls coa ass' against the door that was loaded down with lots ( you co uld mark your name onto a soap-box n.nrl Grandmarm Sawyer’s chany set stencil-plate. iOV/ VXAV , of things, and Grandmarm Sawyer s chany set among ’em. That chany set beat anything I ever seed anywhere in the way of chany, and I sot a farm by it. . Margaret Ann put on an old red petticoat of mine over her dress, and a blouse of her pa’s, and she tied her head up in a gingham apron, before she went to business. My uniform was one of Reuben’s stencil-plate. “I’ll empty her out,” sez Reuben, seized with a bright idee; “strange that I didn’t think of it afore ” And he grabbed that barrel and stood me right up on my head, and rocked the barrel round fust one way and then t’other, jest as if I was coal- ashes that had got wet and stuck. “Reuben Wiggins,” sez I, as soon as I could a « t 'll 1.^ wpn f to business. My uniform was one or Keuoen s “Reuben Wiggins, , r d caUco" that I’d kept for him to wear in J speaU , ” if ever I git out of here, lU make you sor haying-time-because anybody sweats so, in hay- ry for this. You’re a-runnrag my brains all o in^ that it rots a shirt clean to nothing—and I put through the top of my head.” ’ it on outside of my old delaine skirt that I wear - B u’st off the hoops,” sez the Squire, comm o when I’m a-washing. | the rescue. And he seized a hammer and hit the We had the wash°bench and two barrels with a barre i a lick that sot my rhumaticks off into a tan- board over ’em, to stand upon. I had the barrels trum a nd nigh about blowed off the top of my skull. a nn had the bench. But the barrel caved, and I was saved. V* " **• But the barrel caved, and I was saved. Jest as I got out, I heerd a terrible wailing kind of a howl from Nero—that’s our dog—and I knowed he was in trouble. I went out into the seWng- room, where the noise come from—and, I declare, I didn’t know whether to laff or cry. Margaret and my soul and body, the result was amazingi Ann had sot that pot of prepared glue onto the The paint which was pale-blue, flew and squirted tab i e , and the dog had got up there and upsot it, all into Margaret Ann’s face and eyes, and she and the glue had run out, and he’d laid down and looked like the piece of “ spatter-work ” that Miss got to sleep, and his tail had dried into the S^e Dinsmore took the premium of twenty-five cents and so had my ten-dollar switch of hair that I d .i AotfiA-chnw. last Fall. And off af ore I besrun painting; and laid down there. and Margaret Ann had the bench. “ Now, ma,” sez she, dipping her brush into the paint-, “ you want to dip lightly: give it a little dab aginst.the side of the pail, to shake out the super superfluent fluent paint, and draw it towards you-so, in this way.” And she dabbed, and then she drawed— and, my soul and body, the result was amazing! XJ^ t' on, at the Smithville cattle-show, last Fall. And she grabbed up the tail of that petticoat, which had dipped itself into a pot of black paint that we’d had mixed to stripe off with, and rubbed it over her countenance, and black and blue was about equally mixed. “Heaven and earth! Margaret Ann, sez \ “you’ll never come clean in the world without b il- ing out.” And I made a rush toward her, to wipe her off with my apron, and I forgot that I was on them barrels tosave barrels—feet fust, paint-brush and all-and the barrel fitted me as well as if the cooper had took my measure. “Murder!” cried Margaret Ann, running to the door and shouting down the road; “ Ma liassuicid- ed herself! Help! help!” OiUU 00 took off afore I begun painting and laid down there! The table-cloth on that table was one that Mary Ann Simons worked in this ’ere kerosene work that’s so stylish jest now, and we’d either got to cut the cloth off from the tail or cut the tail off from the cloth. It was a question of no table tablecloth cloth or a tailless dog. I did not liesertate : I grabbed the scissors, and was a-going to slash right into the cloth, when the dog—seeing, no 1 my apron, and I forgot that I was on tnem dou bt. how despirit I looked-give an awful howl ; and the board tilted up, and I made a grab and a frantic leap and cleared hisself—cloth, false ’myself, and down I went into one of them h air, and a ll—from the table, and dashed into the front-entry right over the mess of chany and through the winder, and down the road like a streak, with that table-cloth and that ten-dollar switch, warranted not dyed and all long hair, a-trailing after him like the tail to a kite. And that chany was smashed into kindling, and a a:4- /M.f I herself 1 Help! help!' Aaa tnai cnauy sui»uw .u«/ And in a minnit, Reuben came running in like we all sot off after the dog, a-yelling , “Git out mad and Squire Power, which had come over to the re!” And the groceryman’s clerk come ou swap some setting-hens’eggs-and he come in with and fired at Nero, thinking I16 had the hydropho- hlm ' by, and killed old Mrs. Mulligan’s goat, that was “ Creation of Adam!” sez Reuben, “ now there’s a l Umc hing off the old hoop-skirts and tomato-cans another good barrel gone to shucks! And I shall in Grigg s back-yard. And she’s ^-ued him for' have to buy barrels to put my apple-crop into! rinmid^es. Twenty cents on a barrel out! Mirandy,” 6ez he, X ** X/ri »» j | “ it is strange that a woman as old as you are can t keep herself out of scrapes like this.” ^ “ Let’s pull her out,” sez Squire Power, spitting onto his hands and bracing hisself “You hold on onto to the barrel, Wiggins, and I’ll extract her jest as a dentist takes out a molder.” And Reuben grabbed the barrel, and the Squire grabbed me. He got me right by that shoulder of mine that I’ve had the rliumatiz into for nigh onto six years, and, for a minnit, I thought I should be made into two Mirandy Wigginses. I struck out with the hand that had the paint-brush in it, and the Squire’s mouth was the nearest and most con convenient venient opening—and in the brush went, paint and all. and suffocated him nigh about to death. damidges. And, jest as Reuben and theJ’.Squire and I and Margaret Ann had got to the front-gate, a-pursu- ing Nero, a carriage driv up, and out stepped Ar Arabella abella De Jones and Gabriel Van Robinson, her young man. Imagine, if you can, the tableau! As they say in the five-volume novels, when they don’t feel fit to describe anything, “we draw a curtain over the scene.” p_g,—Nero come back, the next day, with his tail bare of hair mostly; but I’ve never heern any anything thing from my switch nor the table-cover. And we got Jenkins, the painter, to paint our house, be because cause we thought it would be cheaper. D r I* Travel and Resort Directory The Best Regular Ser Services vices to Egypt, India, China, Philippines, Japan, Australia, New Zealand. Round World Trips and Winter Tours in India. Peninsular & Oriental S. N. Co. Full information from CUNARD LINE, 21-24 State St., N.Y. IT’S SOUTH AMERICA NOW Most beautiful cities in the world. Climate, Scenery, Hotels. Social Life. Tours to Brazil, Argentina and all South American points via Panama Canal. Write for booklet ‘ O . TophamTours, 305S. RebeccaSt., Pittsburgh, Pa. J a n A IU THE land of A PAN THE RISING SEN Europe and the Mediterranean are closed. Why not go to Japan? For information write THE JAPAN SOCIETY 165 Broadway New York City “JEST * FORE V Bert ok Braley^^ CHRISTMAS FEATHER calls me William, sister calls me Will, * Mother calls me Willie, but the fellers call me Bill. Mighty glad 1 ain’t a girl—ruther be a boy Without them sashes, curls an’ things that’s worn by Fauntleroy! Love to chawnk green apples an’ go swimmin’ in the lake Hate to take the castor ile they give for belly ache! 'Most all the time, the whole year round, they ain’t no flies on me, But jest ’fore Christmas I’m as good as I kin be! Got a yeller dog named Sport, sick him on the cat; First thing she knows she doesn’t know where she’s at! Got a clipper sled, an’ when us kids go out to slide ’Long comes the grocery cart, an’ we all hook a ride ! But sometimes when the groceryman is worried an’ cross He reaches at us with his whip an* larrups up his boss, An’ then I laff an’ holler, “Oh, ye never teched me!” But jest ’fore Christmas I’m as good as I kin be. Granmar says she hopes that when I git to be a man I’ll be a missionarer like her eldest brother Dan, As was et up by cannibals that lives on Ceylon’s isle, Where every prospeck pleases an’ only man is vile. But granmar she has never been to see a wild west show Nor read the life of Daniel Boone or else I guess she’d know That Buff’lo Bill an* cowboys is good enough for me! But jest fore Christmas I’m as good as I kin be! An’ then old Sport he hangs around as solemn-like an’ still; His eyes they seem a-sayin* # “What's the matter, little Bill?” The old cat sneaks down off her perch an’ wonders what’s Of them two enemies of hern that use to make things hum! But r m so polite an’ ’ten* so earnestly to biz That mother says to father, “How improved our Willie is!” But father, havin been a boy himself, suspicions me When jest ’fore Christmas I’m as good as I km be! For Christmas, with its lots and lots of candy, cakes and toys. Was made, they say, for proper kids and not for naughty boys; So wash yer face an brush yer hair an* mind your p’s an* q’s, An don t bust out yer pantaloons, an* don’t wear out yer shoes; Say “yessum” to the ladies an’ “yessur” to the men, An when there’s company don’t pass your plate for pie again, But, thinkin of the things yer d like to see upon that tree, Jest fore Christmas be as good as yer kin be! On windows and billboards the posters appear Announcing “Huge Mastodon Shows,” And picturing mammals ferocious or queer, Or beautiful ladies, who pose On galloping steeds or the flying trapeze, While “Gymnasts of World-Wide Renown Defy Gravitation With Marvelous Ease! ’ The circus is coming to town! The small'boy’s behavior grows flawless indeed, While waiting the magical day When all of these wonders of which he can read Will truly be put on display. Fie leaps at his mother’s or father’s commands, With never a whine or a frown; And dreams of the tents and the clowns and the bands- The circus is coming to town! Oh, many a hoy makes liis plans to "ari^e Long, long before dawn shall begin, And beat'it down town with “the rest of the guys'' To watch while the circus comes in. At elephant feeding he may get a chance; Or, possibly, talk with a clown. (And that, to a boy, is the peak of romance) The circus is coming to town! Oh, mystical wagons of crimson and gold; Oh, bands that proclaim the parade; . Oh, riders in costumes so line to behold; Oh, peanuts, oh, pink lemonade! Oh, sideshows of freaks from strange regions unknown Oh, tanbark, soft, odorous, brown. We’ll just take the kids-—for they can't go alone— The circus is coming to town! 17 xjt apply to nny rtniroaa-ticKet oiuce II I •*» • To Santa Claus By James Whitcomb Riley EUGENE FIELD. Most tangible of all the gods that be, 0 Santa/Claus—our o\Vn since in infancy fancy !— As first we scampered to thee—now, as then, Take us as children to thy heart again. ri* 4 ! . v ^gBe wholly good to us, just as of old; As a pleased father, let thine arms f i enfold becomeUs, homed within the haven of thy | love, And all the cheer and wholesome wholesomeness ness thereof. 1$ nj 1 HI - # ,Thou, lone reality, when O, so long 'Life’s unrealities have wrought us 1 wrong:' ]And all that promised honor in men’s eyes. Ambition hath allured us, fame likewise, I Throughout the world's evasions, m wiles and shifts, Thou only bidest stable as thy gifts— A grateful king re-ruleth from thy lap, Crowned with a little soldier cap. A mighty general—a nation’s pride— Thou givest again a rocking-horse to ride, And wildly glad he gloweth as the grim Old jurist with the drum thou givest him: The sculptor’s chisel, at thy mirth’s command, Is as a whistle in his boyish hand; The painters model fadeth utterly, And there thou standest, and he painteth thee— Most like a winter pippin, sound and fine . And tingling-red that ripe old face of thine, Set in thy frosty beard of cheek and chin . As midst the snows the thaws ol spring set in. Ho! Santa Claus—our own since In Infancy- fancy- Most tangible of all the gods that he!— • 1 As first we scampered to thee—now, as then, Take us as children to thy heart again. (Copyright by James Whitcomb Riley.) fven vjdKes rn.OTO MAGNIFICENT TOTEM ARCH , . Leger (second from right) tours Museum of Anthropology with director Michael Ames (right). Leger opens UBC anthropology museum By SUE VOHANKA The lofty, totem-lined halls of the Uni- versify of B.C.’s new Musuem of Anthro Anthropology pology were officially opened Sunday by Governor-General Jules Leger. During the opening ceremonies, attend attended ed by 2,500 people, representatives of the university and the federal and provincial governments paid tribute to those who made the museum possible and expressed hopes for what it can accomplish. The $4.3 million museum, three years in construction, features UBCs extensive col collection lection of West Coast Indian artifacts — a collection which until now was stored in the basement of the university library. It will open to the public Tuesday. Secretary of State Hugh Faulkner said the museum has the potential to be more than an important centre for scholarship and research. • ' “Maybe even we can hope It will be become come a centre for Canadians of all walks of life to come to an understanding of what our history has been, at least part of it, how distinguished the contributions made by the native people of Canada,” Faulkner said. “Maybe some day it’ll become effective in our own thinking of our own past,” he added. UBC president Douglas Kenny termed the opening of the museum an historic oc occasion. casion. “And it is our history which has brought us here. We have come together to cele celebrate brate an important part of our common past,” Kenny said. “That past does not yet belong to us. But it is one which we can share if we are willing to make the effort, to pay the price,” he said. Kenny said the price of sharing the past is to learn more about it and a willingness “to share our own present and future.” “With these beautiful artifacts, the peo people ple who made them are permitting us to share their culture, their history, to make it ours as well “We will not be worthy of this gift, how however, ever, unless we are willing to invite them and their children truly to join us in our present and future,” he said. Kenny described the new museum as a living museum, as “a house of spirits.” “Behind the masks, the totems, the cer ceremonial emonial robes stand the spirits of the human beings who made them. Until we can sense the preseenee of these spirits and feel the human bond between our lives and these people, these objects and the people who made them will remain dead.” And he asked those attending the cere ceremony mony to consider the museum as a place of discovery. “We can discover a better under understanding standing of another culture, another way of life. Most of all, if we can learn to see not just' the objects, but the spirits dwelling in this house, we can discover a part of ourselves,” Kenny said. Provincial Secretary Grace McCarthy told the crowd: “Today we see not only the Museum of Man but the museum for man. May it be a reminder always of our past and the tremendous history we have here in British Columbia. “Only at reflection and knowledge of our past do we move into the future with hope Man killed in crash KELOWNA — Hiroshi Madokero, 51, of Grand Forks, was killed Saturday when the car he was driving went out of control aid slammed into a ditch on Highway 33. The accident occurred about 36 miles ;asfc of Kelowna. and with inspiration and with confidence,” Mrs. McCarthy added. The deputy premier, who attended the opening ceremony in place of Premier Bill Bennett, paid tribute to the “ideal location” of the museum, perched on the Point Grey cliffs overlooking Georgia Strait. The building was designed by architect Arthur Erickson to follow the contours of the sloping terrain between Marine Drive and the cliffs at the extreme north end of the campus. Museum director Michael Ames said the collections on display in the museum are of international importance. “Many of the northwest coast Indian ar artifacts tifacts match or exceed the world's finest achievements in beauty and craftsman craftsmanship,” ship,” he said. Ames described the building as “a radi radically cally new concept in museums. This will become one of the most talked about insti institutions tutions in North America.” He saluted the late H. R. MacMillan and Walter and Marianne Koerner, whose foresight and financial assistance helped preserve a number of artifacts. Ames described the Koerners as “con “connoisseurs noisseurs of fine art who have, over the years, put together a masterpiece collec collection tion of northwest coast Indian materials, many of the pieces repatriated from abroad.” The Koerner collection Is on display In a gallery off the Great Hall, which encloses rows of massive Haida and KwaMutl Indi Indian an totem poles. “We who work here in this building are dazzled every day by what we see and what we feel,” Ames said. “From today, we will be able to share that experience with everyone.” Construction of the museum was funded by a $2.5 million grant from the federal government, $1.5 million from UBC and $300,000 from the National* Museums of Canada. The museum will be open Tuesdays from noon to 9 p.m. and Wednesdays through Sundays from noon to 7 p.m. Ad Admission mission is free on Tuesdays and other days is $1 for adults, 75 cents for students and 50 cents for children. BY DR. PRANK CRANE :T ra ° k Cra , ne '. ) I death to the people 1 coagulation. “Civilization is of i )roblem—distribu- Speech saves men (Copyright, 1 i;ld, There is but one There is but on< tion. Most diseases are due to some sort of congealing. Most cures consist in re restoring storing the circulation. . The curse of history has been pro- mciahsm. Tribes, clans, nations, and school boys fight because they are not acquainted. The gentlemen who advised the League of Nations did something to toward ward securing the peace of the world, oteam did more. Railroads and steamships have the £*3** “ to be u called the Children ot God, because they are the great greatest est peacemakers. Humanity when it coagulates, spoils, ft needs constant mixing. 1 Nothing beuer could 'befall a na nation tion than to be emptied periodically of ts population, who should go about imong other nations. A certain por- ion of all the youth of one land ought be sent at public expense to for- ugn lands for a part of their educa- Man is a circumambulatory animal 4 . V: «hu ^ eei l m „S newspapers are better safeguards | against riot and revolution than stand- I mg armies. For revolutions are never caused by the circulation of ideas, but fester S that Cannot circulat e; so they j • S0 Yu in tem Ples; it sweetens hedges^ 1UnS thruout the highways and Th e River of God, in the Apocalyptic ‘ s !°. n| , ran , thru the streets of the city, HirP t +if t P'ty the seer saw no temple. hem talk, and give them a daily column L^ S e n ra r ns r hin * iissi ^ we r pKhli,«. da " 8eI ” US hcresy i5 ,‘ hc °” e bu^k. thin& gr ° WS by mart y rd om like Truth is not preserved by institutions I organizations armies, laws nor any other form of force. y What prospers Truth is Open Air of^Truth flCld and n ° favors is tlie cry You do not need to defend it. Just fmd l t> ,]ove it, believe it and tell it I MoV vl 1 • d ? fe ? d itself * Rd you, too. ’ r Dpen the ways! Remove the dams' li Let busmess circulate 1 Let competition go on. Let co-operation be unhin- ii de p ed p] Let information circulate! Give le ufSLeV‘ berty! The Door I neS 16 yea A™ i6: L utl ' “"•I Righteoua- nved l0 ”fr RETURNS WIFE HE MARRIED ON TRIAL u H ot Satisfactory, band Says Has- LONDON, Jan. 28.—The storv „ man who sent his wife haoL- L°i a Winn 1 '- having ’ married her -‘on appro- bation, was told at Tottenham^e- w i A ^ 0man . as ^ed the inaeisi rat* wkat h % couI <* do f or her daughter* riid^o- daughter, she said, was mar married ried six weeks ago and seemed rmit^ happy with her husband. d ^ite Howeyer the man brought her back her agaK and Said she could have " She ‘ S 'l°±^l s J a . ctor y '’ he said. We need to give less attention to the dreadnought type and more to 4U M fed-not class. We expect any day to hear the small toiras clamoring for a battleship for the public sauare. If Japan really wishes to win Amer America’s ica’s sympathetic interest, it might start a famine over there. “So son I am returning- her to the from whom I obtained her.- per- the <«r>. x iier mother. y ° U Cant do that '” saj d y -w I can ’” the husband svered. We were married at « t-qkbno° f i flCe ’ ancl 1 understoon I we k eks.“ l r ° n a PP r °hation for six T^b? i w^ ate — D l d you believe him’ beg “ Struck - « ther in^uSIs^shouff^rinade. 1 fUF ' If you have a fam- family skeleton, don’t let her ex expose pose her shoulder blades in a back backless less evening gown. • r ~ t r 9 Preserving peace will be a simple \i t matter if the nations will devote a ^ _ ener £Y deserving peace. Commissioner Says Ships Are Needed—Ten Billion to Be Expended A T° RK ' Nov ‘ S — An appeal to to assist France in her recon- and C S h°in7" W!th mer \’ money * materials Andre made here toni S ht by for Franco a ' ,S enera l commissioner ror b ra no e-American war affairs. II hv n e ni%7c n f S-that the war lias reduced l -fifteenth the effective population ! been h Ye e r blic: that 350 ’ 000 homes have I been destroyed; that agriculture, com® 11 merce and industry in the invaded ”- fw S r- V ‘ rtl i ally have been wiped out- hati I ' reneh shipping and foreign trade ^ mt • to non-exist- lv 50 000 IhI aIia 11 , said that approximate- will hi 00,0 0,000 francs ($10,000,000,000) will be required to finance the pr^ess months° 1 the°° ^ ance ’ " for many J° n • A, mam battlefield of liberty d right, ’ will draw upon her everv resource and those of her colonjej to et°stated^ Vastaa “- ‘he commission- stated, she confidently looks for as- sistance from the allies. d U. S. Favors Move I makh^ A ^?, lica ' M : Tar dieu continued, ' i tlot l l !’ , a a he Said ’ re Presenta- nZf^ h 0h h had P res ented to the ad- miinstiation at Washington, D C bvAm e fi rf kS / or Contt *ibution of labor credit^ to n troo f s now on her soil; for her L' t l le exten t of JO per cent of countrv fnT trilCtl0n purchases in this country for raw materials, railroad roll- trial t toc . k and agricultural and Indus-’ trial tools, and for diversion of part of I Frlcb mergenCy fleet to the uW Of I nil? < commerce. i n explaining these eeds to the American government the in? 1 ? 11 h SS1Cm 1 e - r 1 Said * he was ® iven a “wel- Whit Y W Fi Ch 1 Was dee P ly moved.” for CoL an la f e wil1 exa ct‘ restitution t -n C«ei man depredations, M Tardieu Speed ln the rec^nstruct^n is her ‘America, on account of ouffht tn h? capability for production, ought to give us the first help.” continued 6 l0St 2 ’ 5a0 ' 00 ( , men,” h e maimed b ? e are dead » som o are I a raed some have returned sick and J Whe?her U hev G ~ Prisons ' wl ethAr fh y ^ lost al together, or \Miether their working capacity be ner- pate^n U £f dUced > they wUl not Pa-rUci- Pa ..® , in \ hl f re eonstruction. The df st 1 Hot l i Strial disast ® r is complete, an? wh, i occupied by the Germans ically de s e troyed hl or l ’iak^ awryTy^" ve?? 1 heart rC of in rv UStrially speakins: * the Very Soni o^uTproIScTionT 6 THE nW GIRL B I heard my papa talking to my mamma yest«r- He saidAhat the “new woman” had coma, rjastt wwjs-— H. ,» P»«— S'L'SSV,. « »’>■»■.» that is all I know. But I’ve been thinking ever since how nice To do’whatever"things'*I wished, with no one To newfc^'e m how it would look, to go and And b°e m w bold®’as bold, as bold-so now the I’m going to act just like a boy, and cut off all If we™ e 'going to have “new women” now, there ought to be new girls. i 1-11 be a truant first, I think; then learn to ra go'away whole days to fish and catch no I’ll whistle’ up’and down the street, I’ll stay And I wonTcrytf I’m whipped and sent to I’ll he quite noisy all the time, and every one Shall*say°."‘“Why, she’s just like a boy, that little Nellie Brown. My brother has a great big drum; I’ll learn to And ril’go”barefoot when I may and wear an I’ll q u“w,th a my playmates just to show I’ll try™! think, a cigarette, and learn to mis- Of cour h se V i e oan’t remember now quite every- But I h will find the way to act for any girl that’s “new.” When Christmas comes, I’ll tell my pa I don’t And ask^htnf to have Santa Claus bring me some bats and balls. i.nth I don’t want any dishes, but I d li With big, warm njittens for my hands, a fur cap for my head, And rubber boot* that come up high, eo I can wade through snow. I’d like a suit of bloomers, too; they re like boy’s clothes, you know. I guess this is the way to start to be a “worn- To have your independence, and do what you want to do \ I’m sure it will be awful nice to know your whole life long That you are very, very wise, and also \ ery I’m g 8 o?D°g n8 to act just like a boy and cut off all my curls. ,, „ If we’re going to have “new women now, tboro ought to be new girls, tnere ou b _ C hicago Times-Herald. WHY 1 HAiE WOMAN. A correspondent Give, a tot of Reason* of Which Not All Arc Reasonable.' ^ From the Wer/cminster Gazette. , A correspondent, whose sex we de decline cline to divulge, sends us the follow following ing twenty-one answers to the abo.e question. “Why I Hate Woman: •2. Because she stabs me m the r J with her parasol, offers no apology'ana looks as if I did it. 2. Because she pushes for a place m trains and omnibuses, and, being never makes any room for any otijer people. 3. Because, in public, her prattKrY-* audible and unceasing, and includes the biographies and characteristics oi all her friends by name. a Because she discusses frocks -mtci her sister opposite, and describes fat - rics and fixings as if at her dress dressmaker's. maker's. 5. Because she climbs to the top of omnibuses, to descend from which demands grace and decency. C. Because she thinks the only vay to make an omnibus stop is to proa the driver, if she cannot reach the con conductor. ductor. r Because, being of that class loi s which omnibuses are not, she spat's her coachman and ruins her horses o> her ignorant or inconsiderate use of them. 8. Because, being of any class', sue loves a “remnant day” and dote&fcrm bargains. u 0. Because she displays her bfi^» loses her handkerchief and carries her purse in her hand. 10. Because she recites, plays vio violins lins and rides on bicycles. 11. Because she reads accounts of I weddings and lists of presents in la ladies’ dies’ newspapers. 12. Because she walks three in a row upon the pavement and expects every one else to make way for hei. 13. Because she worships priests and deacons, as well as illustrious per persons sons and cavalry officers. 14. Because she is “fluent but no* lucid,” and mere concerned about the number of her facts than the truth of tiiem. 15 Because, in nine cases cut of ten, she can neither sew, nor read aloud nor make tea. V 16. Because she is always wru.-^ letters and wanting me and others to answer them. 17. Because she is the slave of iasn- ior; and that net only in clothes but in art, music, manners, religion, Hov Hovers, ers, jewelry, language and furniture. ^ 18. Because she does not value any anything thing simply because it is “good” (fol (following lowing a fashion set in the days befois woman existed), but because it is “worn.” or “done,” or even talked about.” „ . ,, , . 19. Because if she is “nice, sue ** sure to be conventional; and if she is not conventional, she is generally not i 4 11 i C G. 7 7 20. Because if you tell her a secre-., she passes it on at once to other friends “T don’t mind telling you, dear, bu„ it mustn’t go any further.” 21 Because she is often careless as to"focd, and thinks cheapness the flr£^ requisite ip- wiue. j Baby has Gone to School. The baby has gone to school; ah, me What will the mother do, With never a call to button or pin, Or tie a little shoe ? . Howcan she keep herself busy ah day ^ With the little “hindering thing away . Another basket to fill with lunch, Another “good bye” to say, And the mother stands at the door to see Her baby march away ; . . And turns with a sigh that is half relief, And half a something akin to gnel. She thinks of a possible future morn, When the children, one by one. Will go from their homes out into the worm, To battle with life alone, . And not even the baby be left to cheer The desolate home of that future year, She picks up garments here and there, Thrown down in careless haste, . And tries to think how hard it would seem If nothing were displaced ; If the house were always as stm as ims, How could she bear the loneliness? The wrestling match between Miss Sarah Quillhoover and Mrs. Jane Highlow at the Woman’s athletic hall on O street last even evening ing was largely attended. Mrs. Oldboy s or orchestra chestra commenced to play the stirring strains of “Rise up, Young William Riley,” promptly at 8 o’clock, and after the overture the contestants appeared on the stage, which was well padded. After some discussion Miss Gladys Evergreen was chosen as ref referee. eree. Stepping to the front of the stage she made a few brief remarks, calling attention to the'remarkable progress of woman suf suffrage frage during the past few years. “Only a little while ago,” she said, throwing away the stump of a cigar, “women were expected to dwell altogether in the atmosphere of the kitchen, the nursery, or the parlor, bufc^ that is now all changed. We are here tonight to witness an exhibition of physical strength and skill which would have been frowned down five years ago. At this point I would like to warn all present that Mrs. Gewgaw, the lady like chief of police, has promised to preserve order in the hall,and should any dis disturbance turbance occur the offenders will be promptly run in. The match will be conducted accord according ing to the rules governing all Graeco-Roman contests, two falls in three, and the .decisions of the referee will be final.” Time was then called and the athletes sprung forward, i clasped hands a moment, and went to work. Miss Quillhoover, whose colors were blue, displayed more activity than Mrs. Highlow, who,however,possessed remarkable strength, and understood the science of the sport per perfectly. fectly. Some very fine preliminary work was done before any good grips were se secured. cured. Mrs. Highlow fell purposely, being more proficient at ground wrestling, and for a time the contest was quite exciting. Fi Finally nally Miss Quillhoover secured a full Nelson lock on her antagonist which the latter vainly attempted to break. In a few seconds Mr3. Highlow’s shoulders touched the floor and the referee declared the fall in favor of Miss Quillhoover. Time. 2:10. In the next bout Mrs. Highlow acted on the defensive. She was evidently winded considerably, but ap appeared peared confident and cheerful. She was caught by her opponent several times in = a position that seemed to insure her second defeat, but she bridged herself and avoided falling for sometime. Finally, however, Miss Quillhoover secured her famous strangling hold and Mrs. High- low lost the second fall. Miss Quillhoover was then declared the winner, and was handed the diamond belt. Immediately after the match a young lady from Beatrice ad advanced vanced to the stage and challenged the victor to a similar contest for $200 a side and the championship of Nebraska. It is altogether probable that the match will occur, and lovers of sport are already betting heavily on Miss Quillhoover. The referee stated to a Journal reporter that she had never wit witnessed nessed a better wrestling match than the one here described. She also hinted that a couple of young ladies who are proficient in pugi pugilism lism would shortly fight to a finish at some place near this city, and she referred to these athletic tournaments as convincing evidence of the remarkable progress of woman suf suffrage. frage. Still some people refer to men as the lords of creation. — 1 3 She Had the Fine in Hoi* Bloomers. ^ The 'semi - rel fg°Lou sTcru^ a d e in Morristown. N j aTatot women who ride bicycles >s son hid for two ho^rs Votings' » jarrfc Hastings, a lawyer, her fine and prisoner pieadect Sui*l> s he _ S a fro°m n the d && o* her Corners. ' ***8 IS JFAME. r m&on in New York Truth ^ , JP T r ^ te nti° us welJ, .Or near by I nl??eH ,len I ' hjld jt du ^4|'& at fsy I x ,aoed * ■ riri And paid her fifty cents a d-, v To charge five cents a (?rjnl£ A As Si a /!^e rtlscd that well °*Sto’4S u know ’ II I said was so. StR&waysa-i-. 'wana-gsKe-™™. r Mr p ; ng y T - K - Hanna ' *•.. ^ X.ife. I Mr s B^Ven r dnnd nS hard t0 be a man ' Jt seems ’ — " e11 - don 1 y° u think we need one in the family’ r-UNViNQ § PRESS RQGfcgT > • ' ' ■A- Little Sermon. J. A. Proude. come or ,?n°hI iSht ’ and whether happiness matfpr T un ^ appmess J t is no very mighty matter. If it come, life will be sweet- if it do not come, life will be bitter-bitter not theory tlon/^ l? be borne ' ° n such a uieory alone is the government of tv,* 0 world intelligibly just. The w e H-b e ing of our souls depends, only on wTia we are ?"? " ob ‘ ene , ss of character is nothing tlse of evi^The government of < thp X ' ady M S00rn done according ?o «,S? et V u 5 tlce is n°t £3 «« ^ w*! 3 whc'havf th d h n earrt S o We say ^^e t0 tho ? S t e h ” U is t ^ t; U is not whit’we^sk'o? de° really MlflE -"‘wilfTnd^'^haV'il BsarfT o^»T yhe sfF- wealth decay friend?’ftn t0 be obtain able, and fa me turn toinfa 1 ? r pr ° ve unkind, serve God never fails ^ V 16 power to is never rejected ' d the l0Ve of Him The Danger in Trifles. Sir Robert Peel. Estimate also properly the force of habit Exercise a constant and unremitting vig vigilance ilance over the acquirement of habit in matters that are apparently of entire in indifference, difference, that perhaps, are really so in- dependent of. the habits they engender it IS by the neglect of such trifles that’bad habits are acquired, and that the mind ->y tolerating; negligence and procrastina procrastination tion in matters of small account, but fre frequent quent occurrence—matters of which the Pfi°fL d +n akeS no notice—becomes accustom- importance? 1116 defects in matters of higher The Experience of Colonel Pettlngli»l While Looking for a Vairsq Key, Colonel Jim Pettmgill, who is a stout man and perspires a great deal, went home to his wile the other evening and asked her where she kept the key of his valise, as he wished to pack- up a few things and take the night train for Mo Mobile bile to look after some important busi- ness matters. Mis. I eUiug-ill told him to go up- stairs to her room aijl he would find the key in the pocket of her black dress, which was hanging on a nail behind the door. She further explained that it was her serge dress with a Watteau plait down the back, and looped alono- the front with small satin bows, and con continued tinued to give a geographical descrip, t on of the garment until Pettingill o-ot l.i-ed and suddenly turned on Sis heel and left her. Poor, foolish mortal, lie did not know that it was easier, as the Scripture says, toi the eye of a rich man to crawl through tj, camel than for him to find the pocket m his wife’s dress. Blinded by his own confidence, he took the dross Oil the nail, and that moment his suiler- mg commenced. He took » short spr. f he garment as he held it up in his left hand, m order to locate the posi- tion of the pocket. His eyes rested on a small opening and he thrust hi S hand JHTin ir nnlir f^ l • _ j* ,. .. thrnn^te “S?,***?*" gliding tbrough a kind of b^ttomleTs "poncer^ s(i ?, kin g J»i<* arm into it up to. the hilt he observed fhat his hand was protruding from an aperture op tlm the rxncv' T p 1S , C!Ulsed bim to change' the positiop of the dress, and ho saw' another opening and sounded its depths and[ .ascertained that it was the same: mjslenous hole he had been in a mo * m a.nt.befere. ~ ’ ‘ pino- the" „ h ._ Q 3 a °d vest and mop- iis fane, lie 2 w rspiriltion from pocket. He saw a *?. st ^ roh of thf > side, and a softer film ,ht ° D the ri » h * i eves. ‘That is if- canle “to bis puttino- h;.1 , Jle murmured, and comipenced tot^ 0 4 Shallow fl °unco, key, S ° h ff 0pe a ?°«nd for the snugly j n the vvas s ^ ee pi n g away 7 Pettin-m ^ &t Ieast two feet to swear between his h ^ ?"? b6S:ai1 oCmorihe'SC/f'ml «> w J Mi*.S"l? “»‘i i«» .h. ass z ‘'“i menced riiggino- with blfh h f Com ' the air got full ol s-tin i° tb kands ’ and watteau p] a w q Sat ' n , b ° ws - Pieces of growls. Then he sot d Smptheiv ' G hands and knees an# iaslHhen bi5 and over tll Z . d ' mdev the bed, gasp for breath 11 \Vri lJl:i ' bacl ebafr resting elf 1#° in a sasySars zx ssrs-ftT^ « s i j else. 8 ’ exe'ept the"““i I Thi» the much-desired pocket itillfSi ars .SdS tdovard anil lugiiTal St ?.' ,p . e '. , strength but it SrnnM 1 t W !® bis ff iet Ie i t0 ^Iriparoifnd ; smothering in ',ts folds, Indte mde™ I handfandd 6 f beat tbe air with Mh I spot untfi d ; mce i "P M«t down in one ! T P h8 die i window-panes rattled. I iff?- 1 e !?’ however, knew that it was getting the best of liim and would not let him go, and-then Pettin> ND 1 dreamed that l sat, as I used to do, With my head against her cheek, While a mournful owl was asking “who” Of the katydids down by the creek. r T EE fellow that fiddled was no one I knew Or ever had heard of before, * But say, now, if ever our pat its cross again I want to be “buncoed” once more. % \ »* I T DON’T care a rap for 'the tunes he plays, And, that ain’t what I’m going to hear, The cuss has a knack of fiddlin’ back What your heart’s hidden many a year. TATE had me a boy in the old back door, x At dusk, ■in the early spring, And it seemed to me 1 could shut my eyes And hear my mother sing. TAT E shifted his bow—and a yellcnv moon Shone over a country lane, And a girl that I’d loved and lost came back And I looked in her eyes again. z1 ND the things I had loved when my heart ^ was right Seemed calling to me to return. But 1 saiv the shadows ’turixt then and now And 1 felt my hot cheeks burn. AEL at once, I thought where I was, u And I glanced at the guys close by: And 1’U be hanged, if they all didn’t look As guilty and glum as I! —By J. Ward Williams in Kansas City Star. 1 Girlie, I’ve noticed the flashy guy, The one who’s chasing around with you; Believe me, sister, he don’t get by; You want to chuck him— and sudden, too; He may look grand and he may talk great, But take my warning and cut him out, For the guy who’s honest and true and straight Don’t court his girl by the high-ball route! Them friends of his that you’ve had to meet Ain’t just the kind that you ought to choose, For how kin a decent girl keep sweet In a crowd that’s given to paint and booze? There’s too much glitter and flash and glare; That duck’s too much of a “good old scout;** Believe me, sister, the guy who’s square Don’t court his girl by the high-ball route! * / You get some feller that think’s you’re queen And tries to keep you from any wrong; This present party is far too keen On leadin’ you off with the giddy throng; The true-blue feller will treat you white, But not where the spigots fizz and spout; Believe me, sister, the guy who’s right Don’t court his girl by the high-ball route! —BERTON BRALEY Women in German Assembly After priding itself on being one of the most reactionary of the European countries on the ques question tion of political emancipation of w.omen, at one bound Germany has outstripped them all by elect electing ing 34 women delegates to the new national as assembly. sembly. At the general elections in Great Britain and Ireland, where equal suffrage for years had been a burning issue and where women long ago iwere granted the municipal suffrage, among many women candidates for parliament only one was chosen, and she was the Countess Markiewicz, a Sinn-Peiner, whose revolutionary principles forbid her to take her seat at Westminister. In the United States, where millions of women vote, in national elections, only one has ever at attained tained to a place in the House of Representatives. In the German National Assembly one in 12 mem members bers will be a woman. What makes more striking the sudden reversal of Germany’s attitude is the fact that the women delegates to the national assembly are from five different parties, seven of them being Clericals and four Conservatives. Eleven of them, or nearly one- third, were elected by the most conservative ele elements ments in Germany, to whom the appearance of wo women men in politics would naturally be in violation of their most settled convictions. The upheaval in Germany has produced no stranger results than this surrender of the Junkers, Pan-Germanists and Clericals. They have not merely accepted woman suffrage as part of the new order of things, but they have marshaled their forces sin order to promote women to posts of honor within the gift of their parties. It would be in interesting teresting to have further light on the local political conditions that forced the extreme reactionaries of Germany to make this complete change of front. Berlin women waited hours to vote, nothing, lots of American women have years. That’s waited i [19] a No A LITTLE ANCIENT LORE.' Old superstitions respecting the wedding garments run thus: Married in white, You have chosen all right; Married in gray, You will go far away; Married in black. You will wish yourself back; Married in red, . You will wish yourself dead; Married iu green, Ashamed to be seen; Married in blue, You will always be true; Married in pearl. You will live in a whirl; Married in yellow, Ashamed of the fellow; Married in brown, You will live out of town; Married in pink, Your spirits will sink. LOVELY WOMAN’S ERA. ut I ‘What a Woman Can Do. She can say “No.” and stick to it for < ill time. She can also say “No” in such . i low, soft voice that it means “Yes.”" She can sharpen a lead pencil if you give her plenty of time and plenty of pencils. She can dance all night in a pair of shoes two sizes too small for her, and enjoy every minute of the time. She can pass a display window of a draper’s shop without stopping—if she is running to catch a train. Slie can walk half the night with a noisy baby in her arms with without out once expressing the desire to murder the infant. She can appreciate a kiss from her hus husband band seventy-live years after the marri marriage age ceremony has taken place. She can suffer abuse and neglect for years, which one touch of kindness or consideration will drive from her recollection. She can go to church, and afterwards tell you what every woman in the congregation had on. and in some rare instances can give a faint idea of what the text was. She can look her husband square in the eyes when he tells her some cock-and- bull story about being “detained at the office,” without betraying in the least that she knows him to be a colossal liar. She can—but what.’s the use? A wo woman man can do anything or everything, and do it well. She can do more in a minute than a man can in an hour, and do it bet better. ter. She can make the alleged lords of creation bow down to her own sweet will, and they will never know it. Yes, a woman can do everything with but exception; she can’t climb a tree. ( I -»4 4 The Hand that Rocks the World. Elessings on the hand of woman. Angels guard her strength and grace, In the cottage, palace, hovel, Oh, no matter where the place, Would that never storms assailed it, Rainbows ever gently t urled, For the hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rocks the world. Infancy’s the tender fountain, Power may with beauty flow, Mothers first to guide the streamlet, From them souls unresting grow. Grow on for the good or evil, Sunshine streamed or darkness hurled, For the hana that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rocks the world. ___ * Woman how divine your mission Here upon our natal sod ; Keep, oh keep the young heart open Always to the breath of God. All true trophies of the ages Are from Mother Love impeaded ; For the hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand thai rocks the world, Blessings on the hand of woman, Fathers, sons and daughters cry, And the sacred song is mingled With'the worship of the sky— Mingles where no tempest darkens, Rainbows evermore are curled, For the hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rocks the world. —William Ross Wallace. The Range. Double Pipe Shelf, shown on pa Feminine Might Is Not in Fnrco, Solely in Example. Each year the dividing line het hetman’s man’s and woman’s work grows u- rower, and we hear less and less ( “woman’s sphere,” and what she may or may not do. By her -extraordhu-.'j strides, one might say, during the last ten years, woman has become a recog recognized nized factor in the world, beyond the cradle and the hearth. This may in truth be termed the woman’s era. A woman’s work to-day is exactly what she can undertake and do—just what sho is capable of and fitted for. Though women encroach more and more on man’s domain, they should bend their energies, not to the filling of men’s places, but to the making of business records as women, doing their work, not like men, but better, and with greater patience and in integrity, tegrity, because they are women. There is some truth in the charge that business women sometimes grow brusque and self-assertive like men. A long fight with the business meth methods ods of men now and then develops tiijs spirit in a woman. Sometimes ‘ fivoman adopts this manner of jmas- c Jltere-good&dlQ wshyjj&nd indehend- with 1 ^ vagSeidea ijl, in ’ some manner, be pressed with he^ and entertain a greater respect for her ability. This is a great mistake. An effem effeminate inate man and a masculine woman are social and business abominations. They are caricatures, having either inherited or acquired characteristics which belong to neither men or women. Business associa association tion and diligent practice may enable a woman to raise her voice, walk with an independent strut, and meet men in . a hail-fellow sort of a fashion, but her 1 painfully - acquired accomplishment can serve only one purpos<$r-$hat of making her a failure all roupife Every thing that a woman may do while maintaining her self-respect is woman’s work. If a woman is physic physically ally strong, and without other ties or obligations, let her break on a railroad train, or pilot an ocean steamer if sho will. She may follow any profession or trade. That one woman is making money as a carpenter and another as a blacksmith settles the questions of suitability in these occupations. In all her 4 work, however, let her pre preserve serve the woman’s characteristics. Let her set an example to men in their*, rough-and-tumble greediness by gen gentler tler and more honest business methods. Leave braggadocia, cheating and swindling to men. Let smoothness, courtesy and sincerity characterize the business methods of woman. Woman’s might is not in force. It is in example. She can not compel, but she can' always lead. To do as men do may seem the brave way, but to remember that she is a lady before she is a business woman would insure to woman her best success, and help to acquit the working-worn an of the oft-times-truthful charge of offensive masculinity.—Washington Post. . Is It So With You J ~ i When they are first married the lms- j band is everything to the wife. House Housekeeping keeping cares are small, or none at all. there is little society; the days are long and lonely; the wife counts the hours and even the minutes for her husband s return; and everything is ready for his coming, as though he were all the woild contained, as indeed he is to her. But this cannot continue long. Children come and divide attention, caie and love. Society interposes its claims. The church demands time and thought. There are calls to return, and meetings | to attend, and dresses to make, and baby to care for; and the husband has j to take the second place. Now, though it is never easy for an idol to step oil from his pedestal, or put another one alongside himself, the husband who has a moderate share of common sense will not expect the wife and mother to give the same exclusive thought to him that the young bride gave. But it is no x aie experience for the wife and mother to become so absorbed in other duties that her husband recedes steadily from the first place to the third, the fourth, and finally goes out of sight altogether. She no longer watches for liis coming; she is surprised when he appears, and half disappointed, too, that he is home so soon, for this bit of household work is not quite done, or that last stitch is not vet taken, and she is really more anxious to finish the seam than to see her husband. The little things that make home happy are forgotten because hf the supposed larger duties due to so- ciety or the church; and the wife by hot self-absorption in a busy, bustling lrie outside does more to make her nusband pao-an than to make pagans Christians, because the one she touches very nearly and the other she influences only atai off. We call this life of self-absorption a subtle form of selfishness, because so social cial ambition makes social care a delight and social duty a pleasure; and what the o-ood woman imagines to be a seii- denial is really an enjoyment, it not a passion. We have known women who were never weary of mveighing agamst society who would die of ennui if the} were taken out of it. . But this form of selfishness is lai oftener seen in the husband than m the wife. He gives himself up to his busi business, ness, and gives only a fringe and frag fragment ment of thought to the woman whom he idolized for a month, or even, with rare fidelity of masculine affection, for a twelvemonth. When he conies home he leaves his mind in the counting-r counting-rand and only brings his body to the supjjpet table. He is generally abstracted/’anil often positively cross. His wife Jtfas re revived vived so many rebuffs from hum that, il she be sensitive, she learns to sfudy him j. furtively before she ventures t,j6 address him. even in the quiet of the evening H fireside; and if she be not sensitive s.e u answers back, and each sharp battle of , words separates them farther and •ei •either ther from each other.■»— The Hour. si E »» aen j. was a little white headed chap I rea ‘ u * ar little sinner. Dick was a step above me in size, An he jist come up to Dave’s chin, Comp ’ ny come to our house , " e ci stand around an’ grin. younff uns had to wait An- lh ", - b,8: folks got through— ” S1 \ thG longest time an ’ eat, * t ? ff and chew » an’ chew; wi USt t0 watch an ' hold our breath hen ma passed around the things The second time, for ail theJ ., a , eaye r the chicken was necks an' wings. J.he day this woman me* ~ ^ ity cousin ~ mere an' peep I ° see H had waked up yet- | So I says to Dick, on the sly, | T°“ T ! , 1 " de !' watch the table, -*■ ^ niake the baby cr*\” # 1 SO r gave it a pinch, then spanked it hard T d T to have heered it yen; ' 1 ran to its mother. ' ith my eyes bugged out to tell Her to come In quick to the baby I'er I thought it had a fit The°i^ hOXV when 1 slipped in the room The cat was a bitin’ it. ,i k r „T'" «• ->• ■ sr* —• <-< ,T Tifl n Z% H° me back ’ fer ha,f a " hour, But , y was hushed *° slee i>; j Time,' 311 the 600d tl,inss u » hy that An’ was outside the winder to peep. I wish you’d seen their faces, An’ seen their eyes open wide; But TmI We f n , ln my mind ’ jist then - But I felt awful good inside Pa says, “i guess the cat done this too ” An I saw him give ma a wink? So I says, *l guess we better go hide Come on boys, what do you think?” We heard our pa a-callin’ us. After* the woman had gone awav Hid We up in SUU aS three mice, Did up in the barn ’neath the hay. __ —IDA HAMMOND CLARK Che-w. * J "chav AW ^ANtsT YOUNG urv Lire., c o WH iTEl An .J TA So J B S r^HE To TaKE.Vne •* 1GMT Ei Nj £\w 'v;'” * IUTHEP "DAX ; P H E E IG H 30 ft \aJ if h A pit et^TF^top off ^ * iEST THAVf^EAN AN LADV SAvO ThRpi^ H,s "kouth WH^-VHE Take -JPN SHE. QUESHUNED H)N J ™a. rabbit’s track in the snow vou he certain the rabbit has been there cirenm tial evidence „t‘ that kind is equiValeut to proof" S }W« .horning.-; W®“*8* «“<> a minister’s wVie Z25l*S? P'S THE EARTHQUAKE a nt: biaid old earth quivered and swayed A As a mother a cradle would rock. And thousands were soundly sleeping; But were roused from their dreams shock. I | | \ . 4 % Some thought , their homes had been enter wK?, d S ° me thou ^t ’twas the shock from \> rule m everv linn«AhnM « i— , , THE SAFE Bittle Bertram is a bold b< liis time in parading up ;U ; expression on bis face. Oi him; :: s&.Vo/2ouf^“§ t0 bU “WhoISkffl’g?^ 1 ' klI ' e(i -’ lien gfSSJ?- ads much of ith a fierce uncle asked With He G - a SPRING DELIGHTS ARE NOW RETURNING.” STOVES & No. 1. I* No. 2. An Ode to a Stovepipe. Infernal stuff, your nature well I know. So when I took you down six months ago, Each piece 1 numbered, so that I might tell Exactly how you’d go together well. And now the time for chilly days draws uigh, To put you up again I madly trj% But all in vain. The joints that then did fit Now do not come within an inch of it. I get you two-thirds put in place, and then Crash you go tumbling to the floor again. Once more I try. You’re rather full of soot, And I am getting daubed from head to foot. I jamb my thumb, but still I persevere. One piece goes down again and takes my ear. I grab to catch the piece, another goes. And, falling, scrapes the hide all off my nose. And then my blood gets boiling, and I say By all that’s blue, I’ll fix you, anyway! Once more I go to work. By; patience great I get all but a single section straight. And that I am about to place, when, oh I The chair I stand on tips. Down flat I go; While on and round me with a horrid crash, The whole comes down again in one grand smash. i And then my wife remarked: “I never saw A man so clumsy I” I say; “hold your jaw I And for a tinman send, while I retire To wash myself, and swear, to vent my ire.’ No. 3. No. 4. J-L A Proficient Instructor.—When father came home to dinner he observed a va vacant cant chair at the table. “ Where’s the boy? ” he asked, nodding to the chair. “ Harry is up-stairs,” came in a tone of painful precision from the mother. “ I hope he is not sick.” There was an anxious pause. “No, he is not sick,” continued the mother. “ It grieves me to say, Richard, that our son, your son, has been heard swearing on the street. I heard him myself.” “ Swearing! ” exclaimed the father. “ I’ll teach him to swear ! ” And with that the angry parent started up-stairs in the dark. Half-way up he stumbled and came down with his chin on the top step. When the confusion had subsided Harry’s mother was heard saying from the hall hallway: way: “ That will do, Richard, dear. You have given him enough for one lesson. Harper's Magazine. 1 \— A V 111 i nv IN-/ M rr o » The Roaring Lion and th e Onc-Winged IJird The eagle and lion set out for a race And jockeyed for lead with an airy grace; “Now come!’’ said the bird; “I’ll set you a pace!” “Go long!” quoth the lion; “I’ll push your face!” . 'yhen the eagle screamed And the lion growled, And the blue jay beamed And the black bird scowled; And the whole menagerie Hooted and howled! Said the lion to himself: “The saucy thing!” And he flitted his tail with coquettish fling, Which he didn’t Intend should hurt or stin But it did, for it crippled the eagle’s wing. Then the eagfe screeched And the lion pawed, And the blue jay preached And Uhe old crow cawed; And the whole menagerie Jeered and jawed! “Great Scott!” shrieked the bird, “now what’ll I do? My starboard flipper’s gone up the flue! I’ve only one wing where I should have two, And how in Sam Hill can I race with you?” Then the eagle limped, And the lion roared, And the blue jay whimped, And the old crow soared; And the whole menagerie Got on board! Then the churlish lion said never a word. But started to race with a one^winged bird; And his soul was not for an instant stirred By the love of fair play of which we’ve heard! Then the eagle swore, And the lion chewed. And the blue jay tore, And the old crow stewed; And the whole menagerie Boo-^ioo-hooed! Then the bird got hot and hissed through his bill, “By Jing! I’ll go it with one, I will! ’Twill never be said I’m licked until I’m down to my dead last, gol durned quill!” Then the eagle humped, And the lion laughed. And the blue jay jumped On the old crow’s gaff; And the whole menagerie Went clean daft. Well, the lion won by the length of his toe— (A mighty small win as such things go!)— But his soul was bowed with a weight of woe, For he knew he’d won from a one-winged foe. Then the eagle flew. And the lion fled. And the blue jay blew Till the crow blushed red; * And the whole menagerie Went off to bed. —New York Evening Sun. II The Double Pipe Shelf shown above can be used on any of the following R World’s Banquet, the Social Banquet, or the Famous Banquet. A WOMAN'S WORK. When breakfast things are cleared away The same old problem s rising, For she again sits down to think Of something appetizing. The dinner she must soon prepare, Or give the cook directions, And great is the relief she feels When she has made selections. When dinner things are cleared away The problem that is upper , Is just the same with one word change “ what can I get for supper She wants to give them something ue , And long is meditation, Till choice is made, and then begin? The work of preparation. When supper thing? are cleared away \gaiu her mind is worried, For^hen she thinks of breakfast time When meals are often hurried. She ponders o’er it long until The Question is decided, Then bustles ’round till she makes suic That everything’s provided. That “ woman’s work is never done’’ Has often been disputed, But that she’s worried is a tact, And cannot be refuted. The worrv over what to eat Is greatest of these questions. And glad ?he’d be if some one else A Would make the meal suggestions. [23] GREA' , DENVER. •Scaring Santa Claus. You afraid of Santa Claus? Goodness me, I’m not! I m lots too big to let him make me scared; ’Sides, a year ago I saw him, right on Christmas eve. So now he wouldn't scold me if he dared! Yes, sirree! He’s big an’ fat, like his pictures are; An' I was sittin’ by the chimley, too When he lit right on the hearth, shook the snow flakes off, An’ turned to me, an says: “Why, howdy do?” Nen I run back to the door—so’s to lock him in— “I’m pretty well,” I says; an’ nen we sat. An’ talked a lot about his work, an’ he told me, he did, ’Twas hard to get around when 1 you’re so fat. Bime-by I says, “I hope you won’t for forget get me Christmas day, Although I’m not the best of chil children, dren, ’cause If you should do so, I’m afraid I’d have to tell the boys That b’lieve in you ‘There ain’t no Santa Claus!’” My! Didn’e he turn pale! He caught holt o’ my hand; Says “Don’t do that, please, for—I like you. 111 give you heaps o’ things you want, ’f you’ll b’lieve in me, An’ let the other children do so toe!” So v/e made a ’greement, an’ I will have some things At Christmas time, you bet! What’s that you say? Don’t b’lieve I ever reared old Santa Claus? Well now, Jest ask him, if you see him Christ Christmas mas day! —Selected. By WILL OABLETW * y- [Copyright, 1895, hv Arnerioaa Pr*9s Association.! Wo wont- to Pegtown visiting, my good old wife an’ me, An’ thought that we would bathe ourselves in Chris’mas joy an’ glee; For Sarah Ann, a buxom dame, an’ daughter, too. of mine, Resides there with her older half an’ children eight or nine; An’ eo we gathered gifts enough to make ’em all content An' took the train an’ landed there the very day we wont I The children warmly greeted ns an* crowdea ?ow.f my chair,. . With four a-perchir.’ or. my knees an’ young un* to spare; An’ asked about my spectacles, an’ bow I ^row*4 my \Vig, An’ if my papa bought my teeth before I got so big, An’ how my whiskers come to bleach an’ other I tions prone To make a mortal realize that younger days hay* flown; So Christmas eve I slyly told my» daughter Sarah Ann: * f I’ll show the tots a little sight to laugh at if they can. You rake the fireplace clear o’ fire, not telliu’ them the cause, An’ I’ll come down the chimney way dressed up as Santa Claus. It isn’t, very fur to climb—the weather’s pretty mild, An’ I would do three times as much to interest a child. ” An’ if I ever looked it up how fur I was around, An’ when I run if it would shake the whole ad adjacent jacent ground. 1 An* if the your-correct-weight box didn’t think I was a lot, Au’ if I wouldn’t have to put two pennies in the slot, With other questions well designed to give a hint to me That I was not a first class sylph so far as they could see. An’ when I told ’em fairy tales they wouldn’t be believe lieve a word An* said the Sin’bad sailor things could never have occurred; An’ all the pleasant little lies that used to cheer my you tli r .0 They set upon without delay a3 destitute of trithA An’ when of Christmas mysteries in solemn tones I spake, They laughed an’ said that Santa Claus was all “a bloomin’ fake.” I went an’ clad in hairy garb, with whiskers long an’ white ^ An’ other things to paralyze the inexperienced sight* An’ had some sleighbells bright an’ new a-hangw’ on my arms An’ pockets full o’ Christmas things to add unto my charms, An 1 with the strongest ladder rope that I could find in town I entered in the chimney top an’ clambered slowly down. My goodness sakes 1 Who ever heard of such un- ~ timely luck? The chimney narrowed all to once, an’, suddenly I stuck An’ hung there like a roastin’ hen a-waitin’ to be brown, For spite of all my effortin’ I couldn’t get up or down. An’ then the chil’ren heard the noise an’ run distressin’ fleet An’ looked an’ yelled: “It’s Gran’pa Steb. We know him by his feet”. An’ then their mother had to tell what I had tried to do, Whereat their little fancies sprung the subject to pursue. They asked me if I’d traveled far, if chimneys in injured jured coats, An’ where my span of reindeers was, an’ if they’d like some oats.. An’ told me, with a childish greed for Christmas gathered pelf, If I would throw the presents down, I needn’t come myself; An’ there I hung for quite awhile, with fury in my heart, Until they brought a mason in, who took the bricks apart; An’ though they made the children stop, an sent ’em off to bed, I knowed what they was thinkin’ of an’ what they prob’ly said, An’ when the mornin’ did appear an’breakfast time occurred, They set around the table there forbid to say a word; A-sufferin’ so to laugh at me, afraid that I’d be gruff, An’ longin’ for their presents, too—I knowed it well enough. An’ then a tear come in my eye, an’ like a fond old dunce I went an’ dug the presents out an’ give ’em all to once. An’ then I says, “If Santa Claus is what you call ‘a fake, ’ Nobody’s like old Santa Claus With his red and jolly face; There’s not another around the globe Can travel so swift a pace. His twinkling eyes, and his merry laugh, His chuckle of bubbling glee— Nobody else is so dear by half To Dad and Mother and Me. He doesn’t forget the baby sweet As she rocks in her cradle white; He has time to wait for the lagging feet Of his old, by candle-light. He has gifts and gifts for the young and gay, W T ho encircle the Christmas Tree; And he has the love to his latest day Of Dad and Mother and Me. The frost is chill in the nipping blast, Smooth is the icy mere; The short fleet days go hurrying past To the last of the waning year. And never was nose of the summer’s prime So royally fair to see As the rose that blooms in the winter’i rime For Dad and Mother and Me. —Collier’s Weekly. These pr’tty things he brought fur you is real an’ no mistake'. ’’ An’then they up an’ danced around an’ kissed me, one by one, An’ hugged me harder than the blamed old chimney just had done, An’ with a thousand looks of love incumbered me with thanks An’ made me like ’em more an’ more in spite of all their pranks. An’ one, the prettiest of the whole, who always took my part, She smiles an’ says: “It’s Gran’pa Steb. We know him by his heart!* 1 A Child's Query. In all the Santa Claus pictures, I’ve seen in my little day, He’s traveling across the snow-drif 4 With a reindeer before a sleigh. 9 And this is the thing about it, I’d really like to know— Does he travel in a wagon When there isn’t any snow? —Newspaper Clipping. A nstver. There ain’t no flies on Santa Claus, He’s neither old-fashioned nor slow, I know how he comes to our houses, When ihere isn’t any snow. He comes not in any old wagon, He’s smart and as sharp as an icicle, He straps his pack tight on his bach And wheels into town on his bicycle C 14 ii ttnn A, DENVER / DY *s W For? )EflSTER £665/ some of them myself You don't catch me spending money for dyed eggs list then he tread 4—and changed his mind FIG. 4—IIUMPTY DUMPTV. FIG. 3—MRS. GRUNDY. either blue or brown. The lips and ears are red. The hair and beard are of fine cotton glued m position. A cord, tied to a splint, slipped through the hole through which the egg was blown, suspends these curious heads. A nameless bird is seen in Fig. 2. The egg shell body is tinted brown. The neck and bead are of pasteboard glued to the body and likewise tinted serve as eyes - IMG Z—A NEW BIRD it must be well washed, thoroue rubbed with benzine. After there is no more difficulty in pa shells than on paper. Prettily decorated eggs nestlit giant depths ol Howers, or in a glass, breathe of glad springtinn A quaint wooden shoe, gilded uith whjte satin ribbons for cui xilJed with smilax, posies and egj A large straw hat, with ribb pa e-and deep green, lined with; a delicious nest, fm* PORTRAIT Z ," c l)amts; or th »y ore frost, diamond dust. For decorating by v Method the eggs are either hard boiled contents are blown by i either end and then finished with bons for hanging. An exquisite greeting is this I,;/* porcelain when tnnifnm ? •\ ot nature’s filed with ”i lets The a ,,. d , ‘ lt ? avase «»d is made of Three piece on e’ ,0rt , for . the vase three inches Joncf twT st , d f tZef| ed • W,r ?’ each of a tripod. d t0 Ketlier m the form end°oF-the shelf Ca £» I b " a !‘ smaller gold them heavily. L BecoWe ed the S ' )a8 P d , and with tinv sprigs of hlno fln e ? uter shell Sir bit %* Ae i • ye,iow ’ ■«><>$ he **r * with latever or the “, e ™. s °. f a tin y hole at - with narrow rib- Bnght beads are glued on to - , V ie lee f are of bent wire. The claws must be of sufficient length to insure a firm support. A wonderful comb, tail and 1 ' wings are of gorgeous feathers glued in place. 1 lie feathers are brightened with touches of gold and silver paint. This bird always proves a great success. iMg. 3 shows a mischievous Dame Grundy. L J he head is an egg shell properly marked. 1 he body is an English walnut on which the r lieau is made to rest by.means of sealing wax or .drippings from a wax candle. The arms and skirt are of stilt paper. The little gossip- mg dame is gowned and capped in tissue paper, one may be made to stand by spread- lug the still underskirt, or she may be sus suspended pended by a string running from the body through the head. A right jolly little fellow can be modeled in 1 body and head are egg sneiis. these are joined by slipping the splint with a string into the body shell and extend- f mg the cord up through the head. Features" [tie painted in grotesque expression. The hair : p, °* V ()t ] t -on» arms and limbs of pasteboard. I l ie whole is painted a brilliant red with , 7! The Well, now, since we find we are much of a kind, Neither one of us devilled nor sainted, We would better not preach very much, each to ^ approacMng the of his faith; „ i 1)0. Drnnlinnu 11.:. . CCTT . Xl The account of Gen. Allenby’s entrance into Jerusalem is important for manv leasonB, not the least of which is its association with an old Arab prophecy It is said that Allenby entered the Holy City “Modestly, on foot, as a’chris- annrnnphmrr 99 * • \JULM But 6 just try to keep better acquainted. —Edmund Vance Cooke. Edmund Vance The Prophecy runs like this: “He that shall deliver Jerusalem will enter the city on foot, and his name will be Allah-Nabi.” marked 6 reSembIance between evfin t and prophecy, even to the detail of names, is \ f i 1 / i -4 BACHELOR GIRL BALLAD OMAHA, DENVER Or to take up stenography or clerking, And slave, alas! for some one else’s husband. To love—to wed—and by a wedding end The struggles and the thousand petty cares That “slaves” are heir to—’tis a rare vocation Devoutly to be wished for! To love—to wed— To wed—perchance divorce! Aye, there’s the rub For in that dream of bliss what jolts may come When we have cast aside our little jobs. Must make up wary. There’s the sorry thought That makes so many spinsters hesitate; For who would bear the long, eternal grind, Th’ employer’s jokes, the chief clerk’s contumeb The insolence of office hoys, the smoke Of last week’s stogies clinging to the hair, W’hen she herself might quickly end it all By getting married? Who would not exchange A dingy office for a kitchenette — A keyboard for a cook stove or a cradle— But that the dread of something worse to come After the honeymoon—that life of chance From whose dark bourne so many have returned By way of Reno—fills us with dismay. And makes us rather bear the jobs we have Than fly to evils that we know not of? Thus cowardice makes spinsters of—so many! URBAN A, 111., June 25.—The home economics department of the University of Illinois has issued a circular on “Fashions." It was writetn by Leona Hope, who says: “Waists so thin that a woman must shave in order to wear them are not dpcent. Skirts so tight that Uiey reveal rather than conceael the figure have been worn recently and are about to re return. turn. “Evening dresses described in our prominent fashion magazines as not having much above the waist and very little below are not rare. Sumptuary laws were enacted in the 14th and 15th centuries which permitted only# people of very high rank to wear indecently short skirts and coats. Such laws might be enacted today and with ex- C6llGilt Gff6Ct« “Furthermore, why should one desire to show her dress shields and under underwear wear to the public? Artists advise stu students dents to go to nature. The advice might be followed in regard to clothes. “Not only are many young girls robbed of their girlhood, but the seeds of ill health and deformity of later years are frequently shown during this period. I may safely say that half the girls in my classes have hopelessly en enlarged larged big toe joints, due to shoes with high heels and pointed toes. “Again, many girls appear to be bow- legged. This is because the leg, which should be at right angles to the foot and vertical in position, necessarily re retains tains its relation to the foot, but is obliged in doing so to assume a slant position on account of the stilted heel. “We cannot escape from clothes, but we may escape from fashion," she con continues. tinues. “There are those who think that the remedy for the evils of con constantly stantly changing fashions is to adopt a standardized dress; others advocate uni uniforms forms for women. Some have gone so far as to suggest a national costume. Futile suggestion! It is not a national costume which we need so much as fine national taste. “Standardized dress will never be popular. Women are too fond of in indulging dulging their love of pretty things. The tailored suit is the nearest approach to standardized dress we may hope to attain. “Mothers are to blame for this. They should advise, restrain and guide their daughters in flie selection of clothes to a greater degree than is cus customary tomary at present." You may never be a painter, but you can be a gardener. With a little effort you can take a piece of unsightly brown earth for your canvas and put upon it a .fairer scene than ever fell from paint painter's er's brush. This is not all. You stand in the very gateway of the eternal beauty. You are a co-worker with. God, with the great Artist who paints life, who puts that resplendent bow on the brow of the storm, who hangs the mantels of splen splendor dor upon the suns, who tints the moun mountains tains of cloud with amber and amethyst, as they stand sentinel by the dying day. Is it not wonderful that this Artist of the everlasting beauty will come down and work for you, and second all your efforts? You plant the seeds and bulbs, and wield the hoe, and that sim simple ple instrument becomes a wand in the hand of a king. You touch the earth, and miracles of beauty spring up. Then the unseen brushes begin their work. In the sweet, still and dewy morning, in the calmness of the night, and in the heat of noon, He works with you. Plant the rose, the peony, the tulip and the columbine, and care for them, and lo, the silent partner comes without noise or heraldry, a,nd the blessed' work goes on. Sbon a thrill comes to you. You feel the honor of it, the glory of it—this partnership with Him who paints the splendors of the suns. them. We are God’s millionaires and don’t know it. Wealth is not confined to'glittering gold. It comes in a thou thousand sand forms far more attractive than cold, indifferent, irresponsive metal. We pass this way but once. Let us beautify the path as we go, so the world may see which way we went. We have obligations to the Heavenly Father, who would manifest Himself thru us. If we are just and kind, gen genial ial and helpful, we are His exponents. This is not all. We are not to s'top here, content with giving expression to a par partial tial gospel. Preach God’s evangel of beauty introduced by that sweet poem of our Lord, “Consider the lilies, how they grow ” How eager God has been to heveal His beauty to us. We should allow Him to give expression to His beauty where we live, and at our homes. “He stands at the door and knocks.” Give Him a chance, then people will understand Him better. He is just wait waiting ing to adorn our homes, our cities and You take a dull and somber piece of earth and plant it, and He sets His view viewless less agents at work, and they will make it so beautiful that it will seem a sec section tion of Paradise let down to earth. Now*, if you should do the best you could, what a revelation you would give of the Gospel of Beauty. If a whole city should wake up and put on its best garments— every yard an elysium—sin would be as abashed as in a Divine presence. Adorn the home and your girls will be cultivat cultivated ed ladies and your boys gentlemen in instead stead of boors. “Prepare ye the way of the Lord." Let Him wave His hand over "he earth and beauty will spring up, so that from early spring until the hard frosts of autumn flowers will cheer and bless you as you work among them and help them to grow. There are a lot of trapshooter s who made excellent averages, in club shoots who do not come up to the mark in reg registered istered tournaments. It is not difficult to fathom the reason for this. In many club shoots the targets are thrown 40 and 45 yards, while in the registered tournaments the targets are thrown 55 and 60 yards. It would pav all shooters to always fire at regulation targets. In making high scores on easy targets they deceive no one but themselves. An Awkward Position. G. T. Wilson, who presided at the autumnal convention of dancing mas masters ters in New York, said of a certain new way of waltzing: “Why, to waltz like that would make me feel as awkward as ” He laughed. “In Portland, one day, while walk walking ing down the street, I. cable face to face with a young woman, and in at attempting tempting to pass each other, we dodged from side to side, both going to the right simultaneously, and then both going to the left. “I suppose this has happened to all of you—this meeting with some one going in an opposite direction, and the subsequent dodging from left to right four or five times before you ge£ by. “Well, as I dodged before the young woman like that, she suddenly stag staggered gered me by saying: “ ‘Hurry up. Which is it to be— waltz or two-step?’ ” Were there ever such sunsets as those thrown on these western horizons? It would seem as tho the Creator has taken the mantels from the flaming suns, with their various hues, and hung them up as curtains on the sky. What masses of amethyst, opal and jasper—God’s mines of beauty uncovered before our aston astonished ished vision! You stem on the margin of another life. You turn earthward and nature treats you as a king and spreads a royal carpet under your feet. All around you are those radient, worshipful forms. Their breath fills the air and you seem to be wading thru billows of fragrance. One of the lessons of nature is, “Plant in masses; have an abundance.” Don’t be so stingy. Why not treat ourselves to a little enjoyment? Copy nature on a small scale if you cannot on a large one. When Providence knocks on your door, bringing a profusion of gifts, don’t insult Him by picking out a flower or two and neglecting the rest. He deals in abundance. Plow often you find this opulent word attached to His gifts? There are 4,108 active trapshooting clubs in the United States. Why Be Neutral? If you favor war, dig a trench in your back yard, fill it half full of water, crawl into it, and stay there for a day or two without anything to eat, get a lunatic to shoot at you with a brace of revolvers and a machine gun, and you will have something just as good, and you will save your country a great deal of expense.—Appeal lo Reason. One flower cannot represent the whole race; one variety cannot do justice to the whole species. So get enough lo represent the race and have a-plenty of “TH • 1 [£ HOLINESS OF BEAU • * • , ■ * IY” 1 > \ ' *i J 1 By Rev. C. S. Harrison, York, Nebraska. By DOROTHY DIX T HE real problem involved in the question of whether a wife should earn money outside of the home or not,, is the effect that it has on her husband. If a man is poor, and the wife has the ability to make money it,would' seem nothing but reasonable that she should do so, and thus add to the fam family ily comfort and prosperity. If a woman has fitted herself to fol follow low some trade or profession where whereby by she can earn a good salary it seems nothing more than just for her to con continue tinue to follow it instead of being put / T * T to doing the work of a kitchen maid for which she has neither training nor aptitude. If a Woman elects to follow after marriage some w r ork outside of the home it seems nothing but fair that she should pay her own way, as she gives to her husband none of the labor that a wife ordinarily performs in the home. • Under present economic and so- called conditions there are a thou thousand sand good and valid reasons why the woman who has followed a gainful oc occupation cupation before marriage should con continue tinue to follow it after marriage, if she marries a man who is poor and struggling. Probable Ruin of Husband But there is one tragic objection to it, and that is that it almost invariably ruins the man. Also in some way that is utterly beyond feminine compre- on in view much dis- I’ve bought my wife her summer My life insurance must be paid, And as that heaves It surely set me back a bit, The bills, indeed, were quite enough To make my patience crack a bit; The children have new clothes and shoes, (They’ve worn the old ones through again), And now I’ve got the cheerful news My income tax is due again! • The last installment on my car Upset my plans financially; And—here’s another gentle jar— My rent’s been raised substan substantially; tially; agaan, I learn with feelings mayed My income tax is due again! The cost of living’s coming down, (Or that’s the latest word of it), But dealers in my little to\yn Have probably not heard of it. And life’s just bills on top of bills— I’m in an awful stew again— And now, besides, I learn with chills My income tax is due again! (Copyright 1921 by Tacoma Times) ) tires « iday’s ^ first. - r* i T.m-\/. vv . i i • i This is a common phase of human lid not attempt to make this claim until nature. We are all inclined to sit};y was fully established. Now, for the back and let others hear the heat and widely advertise Truck Tires—though burden of the day if they are ^Ihng been the world > s f oremost makers of and able to do it. The man who is I f married to a helpless woman knows p 1 e cars * i • » hension it seems to kill a man’s love for his wife. I leave it to psychologists to explain this phenomenon of the masculine temperament. I can’t, but I merely state it as a fact that the more a wo woman man tries to help her husband, and the harder she slaves for him, the less he cares for her, and the less considera consideration tion he shows her. If you are inclined to dispute this proposition remember the long line of dressmakers and boarding house keep keepers, ers, and every other class of money earning women you have ever known | and try to recall one who had a hus husband band that was, even ordinarily decent and kind to her. On the other hand the more no ac account, count, and demanding, and exacting a wife is, the more a husband cherishes I her and indulges her. The ideal wife from a man’s point of view appears to be a millstone about his neck instead of a ladder by which to climb. Perhaps the woman who can earn as good salary as her husband, and who is perfectly capable of taking care that he has got to get out and hustle to keep bread in the mouths of his ! family, and he does it, but if he knows | that his wife will go forth and earn the family living, he is mighty apt to spend his. money in the corner saloon. The statistics of mill, towns, where the women work in factories, show the men to be the most worthless of the world. The evil goes even farther, and the man whose wife is a capable money earner, oftener than not becomes a worthless loafer. The danger of pau pauperizing perizing a husband is really the great-1 est one that the business or profes- 1 sional woman faces. She doesn’t want to give up her work, and yet she does not want to see her husband become a contemptible male parasite. For if a man lacks energy, and am ambition, bition, or is fond of his ease, he is ! almost certain to drift into depending on his wife, and letting her support him if she is a money earner. The wife keeps the pot boiling, there’s a comfortable place to stay, and plenty of good food, whether he works or not, so he gradually quits working, whereas if he would either have had to labor or starve, he would have worked. Man Is Same Old Adam The problem of the wage-earning wife is one that has come to stay. Women must either help earn the fam family ily living or else be old maids, be because cause the average man does not earn enough unde*- present financial con conditions ditions to support a family in comfort. Also the nfcUions of girls who have been trained to gainful occupations are not willing to give up their good jobs and the work they like, to go into a poor man’s kitchen when they of herself, lacks something of the cling- marry. These conditions necessitate ing vine that a man associates with a new adjustment in the whole atti- a lemininity, and so she does not make tude of men toward the wage-earning as strong an appeal to his affection. Perhaps her very ability and compe competence tence to stand alone arouse in him wife, and so the solution of the prob lem is up to the husband. - j The trouble with the whole matter some vague sense of rivalry and antag- that while we have a new woman, , onism. At any rate it doesn’t endear man j S still the same old Adam. He i a woman to her husband for her to mlls t be made to see that the future j make money, and if she expects him to marriage must be a financial partner- - be grateful to her for helping to sup- s hi p as well as a union of hearts, that * port the family, she will find herself ^ is no more affront to his dignity J very much disappointed. It never f or pj S wife to help him by making- works out that way. money than it is for her to cook his Another unpleasant effect of the dinner, and that the fact that she is ‘ wage earning wife on her husband willing to go out into the world to is that she kills in him all sense of work for their mutual good should be 1 responsibility for a family. The wife an inspiration for his redoubled effort, who can support herself almost in- instead of an invitation to sit down '• variably has to do it—and the children into the bargain, while the man spends nis wages on himself. and smoke while she does the work of both. Cannot Live Without Faith BY DR. FRANK CRANE (Copyright, 1920, by Frank Crane) Faith is perfectly practical. Almost everything real and believed in antique days is just as real and believable today, if we properly define it. Every god was a symbol of an idea, every supersti superstition tion the twisted image of a psychologic truth, every creed, however fantastical, contained a seed of verity, and every custom was a trait of our eternal nature. So when we read of a faith that removed mountains, an orientalism meaning the performance of the seem seemingly ingly impossible^ that healed the sick and raised the dead—we understand what? * * Simply that men early in the history of the race dis discovered covered that they, by using forces above themselves and incomprehensible by themselves, could accomplish the impossible. The universe is full of forces that we understand not one whit. We cannot tell what they are nor why. But we can use them. And that’s what faith is—using what we do not understand. Nobody in creation knows what electricity is, yet we can turn it on and off; nor gravitation, yet its pull is our standard of measure; nor the complicate reac reactions tions of chemical affinity, yet our lives depend on them. Now the use of, reliance upon, and confidence in a j power we do not understand is the gist of faith. The great spiritual leaders have done in the realm of spirit what the great inventors haf'e done in the field of natural laws. 1 i % | I I I When Moses said, “Thou shalt not kill, thou shait not commit adultery, thou shall not bear false Wit ness,” he blazed the trail for souls and marked the pitfalls quite as much as Jenner showed the way of health by vaccination or Pasteur and Koch by their discoveries. All were poets—makers—men who “gave to airy nothings a local habitation and a name.” When Jesus told us to love our neighbor as our ourselves selves and to do as we would be done by, he uncov uncovered ered the great dynamic of social evolution, and indi indicated cated the line of progress out of barbarism into co cooperative operative civilization precisely as Watt. Stevenson, Morse, and Edison helped men to a “faith” in steam and electricity which insures their dominance of matter. % The supremacy of man in physical fields is by his learning the laws of, and his use of, the mysterious forces that impregnate matter. And the triumph of man’s spirit is in his learning the laws of, and his use of, those laws, just as real and as accurate, that sway souls, and make their happines, and, if broken, bring them misery. Faith is simply finding out the facts and forces of the universe and going by them, whether these forces and facts be moral, mental or physical. And “the just shall live by faith.” — J- WELL TOM, IF VNE'RE GOING OVER THERE LET’-S GET STARTED WELL, HOLD Y0OR v HORSES-rVE GOT To POT OW A . CLEAR SHIRT COLLAR® Bottoms MOW WHAT ARE. YOU GOING TO DO DOWN IN . THE BASEMENT! NEVER MIND’ A MAN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE’-S DOING WHEN A VJOMAN KEEPS V ELLIN G AT HIM ALLTHE- _ TIME-' s*VA mM mm n'/.v: How Will the Women Vote? BY DR. FRANK CRANE (Copyright, 1920, by Frank Crane.) It is possible that the 36th state may not raUfy the 19th amendment extending to women the franchise llt Smo for the women of 18 states to vote lor president" this year. Still some 17,000,000 women will How will they vote?; Will the entrance of this new body of voters into the political lists seriously affect 16 Probably extremists on both sides will be disappoint disappointed. ed. Women average up about as men. there is not much difference. That is why they have a ri=ht to vote-because there is little difference. In some respects women are worse politically tlwn men They are more subject to partisanship. Tor the political party owes its r.ower and coherence to pas passion sion preudice-and blind loyalty. In these directions the female of the species is more deadly than the male. She is more profoundly stirred by her emotions, which are less controlled by the intelligence. She is subject to intense prejudices. And she has a jay o sticking loyally to a person or a cause even when said person or cause is proved to be wholly unworthy. The most irreconcilable rebels of the south are the women. The women of the French revolution excelled the men in their passionate excesses. The bulwark of all monarchies, divine rights, castes and hierarchies is woman. ... .. - Hence we may look to women for no mitigation of the cancerous growth of partisanship. On the other hand women are much more than men susceptible to moral appeals. Their faults, as noted above, are splendid faults; and their virtues are also splendid. They arc not controlled so much as men are by considerations of expediency. They are more willing to do right even when it does not pay and is not “prac “practical.” tical.” 2 , . That is tho great advantage in having the woman voter. .' _ _ , She will vote steadily against war, agamst alcohol and against red rule. Sunset on the River How grand the beauteous sunset when shadows slowly fall! Across the flowing river the echoes softly call The sky a brilliant opal, the sun’s rich golden Spreads shifting varied lights as twilight shadows play. # ..... No artist brush can paint the mingling light and shade, # The opalescent searchlight that tints the forest glade. Harken from the distance to echo of the hailing, From snowy plumed heron across the nver sailing; The gentle waving wing, like white and float floating ing mist, Will carry him across the Western amethyst. The purest angel white and downy feathery garment, Was given to the heron for his nuptial adornment. How proud the egret moves through air ere comes the night! With noble grace and rapid, he takes aerial flight. And as the shadows fall, peeps forth the pallid moon, While distant echoes call so like a dying swoon; . , ... , For far across the river, in yonder willow • pond, His lonely mate is calling, of whom he is so fond. The sun is slowly sinking while Luna proudly looms, Now lights the snowy heron and folds his magic plumes While yonder ship at anchor awaits the break of day, The evening star is shining while currents sweetly play. A song of the deep, deep sea the lonely sailor sings; A distant melody the south wind gently brings. And when the day is done we bless the Mighty Giver For all this glowing splendor, the sunset on the river. Marie Elizabeth Lamb. A woman often has an old hat on hef head and a new one on her mind. There is a lot of difference between believing a thing and believing that you believe it. Do You i e (or Beautiful Embosse 'What an “Educated” Girl Really Knows I N these days of higher education for girls some very simple and useful ac accomplishments complishments are apt to be forgot forgotten. ten. They are accomplishments that one need not attend college to learn, and yet they are as valuable and as essential as anything taught in the most advanced seminary. Without them no girl’s educa education tion is complete. Here is a list of things that every girl in the land should know, regardless of her position in life: She. should know how to arrange every room in the house. She should know how to say “No” and mean it or “ Yes” and stick to it. She should know how to sew on buttons, - dam stockings and mend gloves. ’ She should know how to cook and serve a good wholesome dinner. She should know how to dress for health and comfort, as well as for appearance. ( ' She should know that tight lacing is not only uncomely, but that it is injurious to health. vShe should know that music, drawing and painting are real accomplishments in the home, and are not to be neglected if there be time and money for their use. She should know how to live up to the old rule, “A place for everything, and every everything thing in its place” She should know that it is best for her not to have anything to do with dissolute or intemperate young men. She should know that the more she lives within her income the more she will save and the farther she will get away from pov poverty. erty. She should know how to dress within her income and to wear a calico dress like a queen. She should know how to embrace every opportunity for reading, and how to select such books as will give her the most useful - and practical information in order to make i the best progress in earlier as well as later home and school life. * A girl who combines all this information with her regular school education will be well equipped for almost any position in life. Her spiritual development should keep pace with her mental development, or life will be a failure under any condition. The Jazzy Old Earth Scientists have told us that old Mother Earth has de departed parted somewhat from the paths she is supposed to follow through the heavens and has developed a disposition to wobble, or at least to display some symptoms of celestial jazzism. The earth is off its axis some sixty feet, so say the scientific sharps into whose care we unthinking mor mortals tals have always been prone to entrust the destinies of the universe. Some other scientists have told us that Fair Luna, the inseparable moon companion of Mother Earth, has also been displaying erratic qualities and that it is “ stepping on the gas” and cutting down the time necessary to its revolution about the earth. This scientific fact does not necessarily worry us for it would seem to be co-related with the deviation of the earth from the straight -and narrow way. There are some people who will see in Los Angeles snowstorms some connection with the scientific statements above given, and the possibility of that should give us pause. Geologists and explorers tell us that the region of the Arctic was once tropical, and they point to the discovery of tropical flora and fauna in the rocks and in the ice masses of the Arctic zone. It is the theory of the scien scientists tists that way back in the history of the world, long before William J. Bryan first ran for President, the earth got to jazzing and rather overdoing the thing, tipped over, so that the poles became tropics and vice versa. It may be possible that such a thing may happen again. We say possible, but we would not venture to comment upon its probability, and there may come a day when Los Angeles will add to her unsurpassed scenic attractions her limitless sunshine, and all the other things for which she is noted, a real frigid zone, and that in her bid as the tourist center of the universe, she will be able to adver advertise tise that she possesses the only “big nail,” the one genu genuine ine North Pole of the world. There are some people in the paradise of Pacific Amer America ica who may think that they already see signs of the fulfillment of this, but it is not to be believed that so great a shift of things mundane can be safely predicated upon the sort of weather that Los Angeles has recently been enjoying. Betty Carroll It was Julia Tyler's first day in the new school. She had not much to do, so she spent a portion of the time in looking at the unfamiliar faces round her, and choosing in her mind the girls whom she thought she would like best. One, a slender girl all in white, with fair complexion and light brown hair, drew her attention away from the rest. “I’d like her for a friend,” she said to herself. ‘‘ I wish I were as thin as she is.” Julia herself was plump and dark-haired. At recess she asked May Coe, whom she knew slightly, the name of the girl who had won her admiration. “She?” exclaimed May in rather a scornful tone. ‘‘Why, that’s Betty Car- roll—she’s too proud for common folks like you and me! Her father’s very rich. Y r es, she’s rather pretty; but she knows it; I don’t like her a little bit.” Julia went to her seat when the bell struck, a sore feeling at her heart. Betty Carroll didn’t look proud; but May must know. So there was an end to her hopes of a happy friendship! Several times in the days that followed Betty spoke to the new scholar in what would have seemed a very winning way, if it had not been for the remembrance of May Coe’s words. As it was, Julia felt shy and awkward, and she responded stiffly to the little attempts at acquaint acquaintanceship. anceship. On the Saturday after Julia’s first week in school, she obtained permission to ex explore plore the woods on the hill back of their new home, and she found them so pleasant that the only drawback to her fullest joy was that she had no companion in her rambling. She was down among the vines and lichens that bordered one of the paths, when she heard footsteps, and looking up she saw Betty Carroll and her little sister. She sprang to her feet just as they came up. ‘‘ Now I’ve caught you!” laughed Betty. ‘ ‘ I’ve been trying to get acquainted all the week, and you wouldn’t let me.” “I—didn’t know you wanted to—” began Julia. “Well, I do!” Betty laughed. “When I first saw you in school, I said to myself, ‘We’re going to be friends. I know we are!’ But I’d began to think I was going to have hard work to do it. What made you run away from me, you shy puss?” and she threw her arm around Julia in the coziest way. “I—I thought you were—so rich—” stammered Julia truthfully. The other scowled. ‘‘I don’t see what my father’s money has to do with it,” she cried. “If I like a girl, I like her! I don’t care how much money her folks have—or whether they have any. Mother says she wants me to have good girls for my friends, and not to think about anything else, and I don’t.- When I saw you didn’t whisper in school, as May Coe does, I was glad, for mother doesn’t like me to be intimate with girls that whisper.” Courage True and False A recent cartoon showed a grinning boy skating closd to the edge of an open hole in the ice, marked ‘ 1 Danger. ’* Underneath the picture was the legend, ‘‘The stunt isjl how close can you come without going in. ff As a study of youthful bravado it was perhaps amusing, but it of offered fered food for serious thought. The reckless skater and his awe-struck audiences were typical of the distorted viewpoint which mistakes mere daring for courage. It is this same quality which rocks the boat in deep water, runs across the street at the last moment before the speeding car and drives too fast along the public highways. It is not a commendable point of view. The daring one may get away with his stunt, but he has accomplished nothing, for there was nothing real to be gained. He has shown no real courage, because he expected to get through safely to show how smart he was. He has imperiled his own life, and often that of others, and his act has nothing whatever in common with the splendid heroism which disregards known danger to save life or to accomplish some great objective. There is, perhaps, no more delicate point in the in instruction struction of children than helping them to distinguish between what is truly brave and what is merely fool- • • hardv, but no lesson is more worth while. 7 40' -V TO or, x A Awk mm c 6 PE0UD TO PH 1 99 I \ Election time is drawing near, the big campaign is on, You hear a lot of arguments, some pro but mostly “con.” As you listen to the arguments, sometimes it gets your goat, And it keeps a fellow guessing, just to find out how to vote. Both sides will “save the country,” if you’d hark to what they say, And you’re bound to book a losing if you vote the other way. But one thing that hits me hardest, and I feel inside I’m right, And I’ll never vote for any man who’s too damn proud to fight. It was fighting made this country and it’s kept this land intact; We’ve had to fight for all we’ve got, you know that that’s a fact. We had our tiff with England when this country was a pup. It was a case of fight that time, or else be gobbled up. We fought again in Eighteen Twelve to keep our ships at sea, And if it hadn’t been for Perry, pray tell me where we’d be? Go read your country’s history and get some needed light. Where would we be if Washington had been too proud to fight? me JtuacK ana Tans nave oiuiiea us, we ve naa peace at any euo. But I hate to think of what we paid, and the soldier boys we lost. Adair and his poor comrades died like heroes, unafraid, ^ Expecting we’d avenge them, but up to date no one has paid. ’Twas not like this in olden days when we pulled the rattler’s bite, When old Zack Taylor showed them he was not too proud to fight. And then in Eighteen Sixty-one, our land was rent in twain; Internal strife assailed us, and we had to fight again. We fought to hold the land intact, to stamp out slavery’s shame, To make this Band of Freedom, in fact as well as name. We fought four weary, bloodsoaked years, on land and on the foam, Whom do ye honor, those who fought or those who stayed at home? Now all enjoy the benefits and admit the North was right. But suppose that old Abe Lincoln had been too proud to fight! And when again in Ninety-eight, the Spaniards sunk the Maine, Do you suppose we waited then, for a ‘‘diplomatic gain’’? No!! but North and South straightforward came and showed the stuff With which the Young Americans promptly called the Spaniards’ “bluff. McKinley, Dewey, Lawton, Schley, on sea and bloody plain Proved to the world the U. S. A. still figured in the game Do you remember after that, when “Teddy” in his might Kept us out of war, yet—was never too proud to fight? They say “Peace hath her victories, no less renowned than war”; Well, there’s none that I remember, can you tell me what they are? And the men the nations honor and write high in history’s page Are the men who’ve done the fighting, in this or any age. When the Eagle quits her nestlings, and the brown bear leaves her cubs, The men who won’t defend their homes may not be rated “dubs,” But a nation’s knell is sounded wl*en her sons in all their might Lay down to be walked over, ’cause they’re too damn proud to fight. So when I cast my ballot 6n this next election day, There’s lots that I’ll consider, but this thought is going to weigh— 1 want that Flag kept flying, and I want that Flag kept ci<=an; I want the world to recognize that it stands for nothing mean. I can’t see “peace at ahy price”—forget that grape juice dream; We can make the world respect us. if we let the Eagle scream. Let the whole land stand together for any cause that’s right, And let’s get a standard bearer who’s not too proud to fight. —Written by Frank J. Cotter, Anchorage, Alaska. A Probable Parasite 4