Very g( ) to flee the (wrath) to come be? ( ) full redemption in the blood of? ( ) (t)hanks be to God for the assistance of ( ) in the performance of these duties I felt my (in)sufficiency to do any thing I can never accomplish any good of myself if there is any good done it must be God that does it O God since thou hast chosen to work by means if thou wilt condescend to use so unworthy a worm in so great a work as the salvation of the world I would s(t)ay here and work in and through me to do thine own will On our passage home we had a prayer meeting on board the boat the Lord was (hear ) to meet with us make a time of salvation ( ) souls Eternity only can show the good whic(h) result from that meeting We arrived again a(t) Dr s yesterday fatigued in body but strong in the Lord giving glory to him for the fulness of his love Awoke this morning with a body invigorat ed in body refreshed in spirit Went into sister Raymonds room this morning held a prayermeeting was much blest my faith seemed to get hold of the promises of God to claim them as mine I think I never -had- was enabled to exercise so much faith in praying for the salvation of the world as I had this morning O that God may still increase my faith help me show it by my works I feel that I love God with all my my heart my neighbor as myself Thanks to God for his great salvation O when shall the news of Gods love to man be known throughout the earth Sat Eve Been to green st church was abundantly blest of God Thanks to God for full salvation O heaven sweet heaven Sabbath Morning A heavenly calm prevades my soul My peace is like a river which flows from a never ceasing fountain O the gre( ) me the past week ami( ) labors of the week my soul ha(s) ( ron) God O thanks to God for his ( ) goodness to me to my friends that I h( ) left behind O Father bless them convert sanctify save them -to them to the- Been to Allen St church heard Br. Meritt upon the subject of holiness My soul delights to hear of this subject yet more to feel its effects upon my heart Was tempted this morning but felt to trust in the Lord 17th The Lord is still very good to me temptations seem to be mine to endure O my Fat her help me to overcome Attended meeting at Allen st church this evening many were forward for prayer ( )some found peace This is the delight of my soul (T)he work of God is going forward in spite of men or (d)evils O my God work like a wonder working God display thy matchless power in saving souls The Lord met with us in our missionary prayer meeting last-e- evening also in our female prayer meeting this afternoon blest us in a very special manner it seemed a heaven on earth There were many present who could witness that the blood of Christ did cleanse their hearts from sin Thanks to God for salvation from the power of sin 18 labored very hard this morning that I might gain time to attend the prayermeeting this afternoon I went the Lord met us blest us, This evening attended love feast in Mulbury st went expecting the blessing of God was not disappointed, the Lord manifested himself in a wonderful manner, My soul was abundantly blest in bearing tes- timony to the power of God to save to the ut- most, I had liberty in speaking, was en abled fully to discharge my duty, now I leave the event with God praying him to accom- pany his truth by the energy of his holy sp irit to the hearts and consciences of the people I feel this evening that the blood of Christ clean( ) my heart from all sin I have the direct witness of the spirit that I am wholly the Lords he is all my own God is love I dwell in love love dwells in me thus I dwell in God he in me O the in- finite condescension of God to dwell with worms of the dust yet it is so God does condescend to take up his abode in our hearts O the wondero us plan of salvation to save reblelious man How it exalts the sinner raises him from the filth degradation of sin to holiness to purity in heart life From the mean drudgery of satan to the high the holy service of God From earth to heaven from hell to heaven 19th I have still to record the goodness of God The Lord blest us in our classes this afternoon(n) evening some are seeking the pardon of their sin oth(ers) for full redemption in the blood of the Lamb O carry o(n) thy work in mighty power until the whole city shall be deluged with the love of God O the ceaseless love of God down to all to me it flows Yes thank God even to my heart 21st Been to Greene st church The Lord was present we of course had a good meeting The Lord is reviv ing the work of holiness here in a very wonder ful manner Thanks to his name O carry on thy work until every believer is sanctified throughout soul body spirit the world is converted saved 22nd Been to St John's st church this eve to attend a centenery meeting This -church- was the first Methodist church erected in the city An hundred years have passed away methodism still lives to bless the world We had a very appropriate address on the rise, and progress of methodism, Thanks to God for instructing the mind of Wesley more clearly in the plan of salvation free full Surely if methodist chris tians are not more holy than other christians the sin lies at their own door God has devis ed the plan made it known through Wesley to us if we are not holy we are very guilty Oct 3d 1839 I have this evening attended our Farewell Missionary meeting Order of exercises Reading by br. Linsey Prayer by br. Fergusen singing missionaries introduced addresses from the missionaries address by Dr Alder Collection Charge to the missionaries This was indeed solemn O my God I trust in thee help thou me to discharge my duty I have felt a load all this week When br. Lee first spoke of the females addressing the people I felt that God required this of me and this evening I have been enabled to discharge this duty in the fear of God and leave the event with him This I consider the best evening of my life 4th I have spent the day in writing to friends whom I never expect to see again on earth O that I may meet them in heaven. Oct 9th 1839 Was the day in which I left New York took the last long lingering look of my native land It was a most delightful day It seemed that all heaven smiled upon our undertaking. The sky was clear the ocean calm and our little band cheerful in the prospect of being ere long permited to point Heathen souls to the Lamb of God Our friends from New York accompan ied us in a steam boat to the Vessel where we had an address form Dr. Bangs and remarks from one of the members of the american board The farewell my Hymn the benediction then took an affect- ionate farewell of our friends until we meet them at the bar of God The kindness of friends in New York I never shall forget especially the Drs family O may heaven reward them Oct 15th The Lord has been with us upon the mighty deep We have had pleasant weather till yesterday it rai- ned quite hard We have all been sea sick some of our company are still very sick I think I begin to know some thing of the horrors of sea sickness but amid it all my mind has been camly staid upon God And while I have seen the waves rising -dashing- mountain high and dashing their fury against the ship and viewed myself exposed to a watery grave I have felt that all was well If the glory of God and the good of souls require that I should land safe in Oregon God will carry me safe through but if God can be more fully glorified by my finding a grave in the Ocean I feel that all will be well I have only to say the will of the Lord be done From henceforth let no anxious care corrode my breast for what thy will ordains is best I find that situated as we are in our small rooms many of us sick and almost every thing -d-unlike what we have been used to having we have need of great patience have a fine opportunity for cultivating that grace Sea sickness is unlike every other sickness and very little can be done that tends to effect the cure as long as the cause remains the best and almost the only things I find that will relish are Pickles Oranges salt fish Lem( ) Captain opened a barrel of apples for us this morning which we relished extremely well I have not eaten any thing on board which tasted half so well Our bill of fare is very good we have nothing to complain of but very much to inspire gratitude We have fine weather and a favorable wind A kind Providence has watched over us for good ever since we left home Oct 16 One week ago to day we were taking the parting hand with friends on board the steam boat to day we are some hundred miles form home surrounded by the wonders of the mighty deep This morning Steward caught a large Dolphin which was quite a curiosity among us It is quite amusing to see the large fish throwing themselves some feet above the water and then plunge themselves again in the depths beneath Thursday 17 A pleasant day good wind and health improving with the exception of Sister Lee She is still very sick We have very much to be thankful for abundant evidence that God is for us feel assured that no weapon formed against us will be permited to prosper. We are treated with all the respect by the captain crew we could desire, O my soul trust thou in God, be thou wholly set apart for his service, Let no unholy passion be found in this consecrate(d) heart of mine, Be thou forever sealed to all but God, O how blessed it is amid all the bustle hum of a busy world to feel a calm and setled peace within, Thanks be to God for the comforts of religion, It is indeed a glorious treasure the purchase of a Saviors blood, Tis mixed with goodness, meek humble patience, It calms our fears it soothes our sorrows it smooths our way on lifes rough sea, What O what could we do on the rough sea of life without the consolation of religion, O the unbounded goodness of God in sending his only son to die for sinful man, Well might the sun in darkness hide shut his glories in, when Christ the mighty Maker died for man the creatures sin, Who can begin to conceive the love of God to man, O for such love let rocks and hills their lasting silence break, all harmonious human tongues a Saviors praise speak. Friday a delightfuly pleasant morning, but not wind enough to carry us forward, all is calm and still, the boisterous waves seem swallowed in the bosom of the mighty deep, nor dare for once to lift their furious heads above the surface, the watchcare of a kind Providence is still over us, When all thy mercies O my God my rising soul surveys, Transported with the view I am lost in wonder love praise, In view of the work before me and my insufficiency for it, I resolve to set apart Friday as a day of fasting prayer, that I may be fully prepared for my station, I must be more fully devoted to God I do most earnestly desire to be just what God requires that I should be, To have every thought, word, and action in accor- dance with his will, To have every motive which actuates me pure, I believe this to be my duty privilege, to be my privilege now, And that it may be thus I resolve to watch constantly, to pray without ceasing, O my God thou hast witnessed my resolution, help me to keep it, I beseech thee, Oct 23d Since my last date we have had much stormy weather, rough sea, sea sickness, but the goodness of God to us is very great, I have been perm ited to enjoy communion with God, from day to day, to feel the merits of his death, This afternoon we held our preparatory centenery meeting, The amount subscribed was 750 We were favored with addresses from Br ( illegible ) Br Waller, Br Lee, When we reflect upon what God has wrought through the instrument ality of Methodism, what he is still doing, It is no wonder that we thank God for raising up such a man as Wesley, to go before us, The Providence of God has truly been over us as a people, He has watched us for good made even the persecutions of our enemies to work for our good, Well may we observe the day on which Methodism took its rise, as a day of thanksgiving to God, It would indeed be base ingratitude in us not to ren der a thank offering to God for his great good ness to us as a people, We who a little ago were no people are now the people of God, per- mited to enjoy his smile and blessing, We who a few years ago were compelled to worship in the grove, field, or barn, are now permited to to worship under our own vine, fig tree with none to molest or make us afraid, We who, were a few years ago the servants of sin satan have been brought through the in- strumentality of Methodism to become the servants of Christ, are now on our way to Oregon, to plant there the Standard of the cross, to preach that Christ whom we once despised, for ought that I know even should have despised rejected had not God favored us with the labors of the despised people called Methodists, 24th Trials are mixed with all our pleasures, To day a new and unexpected trial has come up, every day brings its own little burdens, of these I complain not, but only pray, God give me wis- dom grace to conduct myself aright, O for discretion prudence, I feel that I need much wisdom grace in order to do right not give offence, O for all the mind which was in Christ, that full divine con- formity to thy will, which thy word requires, I would be the Lords entirely, have no thought, wish or hope, only as it refers to God, O for a heart to praise my God a heart from sin set free a heart that always feels thy blood so freely spilt for me 25th A good day to my soul. I have spent the day as one of fasting prayer been much profited feel that my spiritual strength has been renewed furthered on in the way to heaven We have been favored to day with an (a) address from Br Hynes Zechariah 14th 6,7,8. Lovefeast this evening in the cabin We are blest with many pri- vileges O that we may improve them all to the glory of God I feel this evening resolved upon serving God with all my heart let others do as they may It is nought to me I have a soul to save or it will be eternally lost Who alas can endure the thought of being shut out from the presence of God O God save me to the utmost Let all I have in thee be lost let all be lost and swallowed up in thee 27 Wellcome to the return of another sabbath and excellent discourse to day from Br Lee upon the subject of holiness Whether ye eat or drink or whatsoever ye do do all to the glory of God O that my eye may be single my body full of light I am resolved with the assistance of divine grace to seek the glory of God in all things I believe this to be my privilege duty O help me to do it Tis worse than death my God to love not my God alone O that from this moment I may seek my all in God Cleanse thou me from secret thoughts save me from presumptuous sins O my God if thou hast called me to labor in a heathen land as I have evidence thou hast prepare me for the work I beseech thee suffer me not to go there and exert an un- hallowed influence in that dark land of night Let me rather die than live if it be not for thy glory But if thy glory the good of souls requires my stay on earth O then prepare me to stand renewed in all the life of God as a monument of thy power to save to the utmost to save from the power dominion of sin 28th A delightful day We are wafted by gentle gales toward our field of action O that we may be prepared to act in the fear of God with a sense of the respon sibility which rests upon us as the messengers of God 29th Commenced to day the studying the Geography of the Heavens; and reviewing English Grammar, O my God I do this that I may be prepared for more extensive use- fulness in the world; therefore ask thy blessing upon my endeavors to learn, I would at this time renewedly consecrate, all I have, am, all I think, know to thee, Set thy seal upon every power of mind, body, Thine wholly thine O let me live and die, Nov 5th Since my last date we have been driven by the wind, tossed by the waves, again felt the unp- leasantness of sea sickness, But amidst it all, God has been with us, blest us with a sense of his approving smiles, We have had seasons of refreshing in our class and prayermeetings, There seems to be a spirit of self examination, of solemn inquiry, to know the will of God, Last evening I felt in a particular manner to examine my own heart, to bring forward some articles of dress and ask God if he could be glorified in my wearing or not wearing certain things, In my eating, or not eating meat prepared upon the sabbath, I have brought these things up, one by one, asked God to direct in these, as in all things, After reflecting upon and praying about it I have come to the conclusion not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of my mind, And as to eating meat which has required the attention of two or three during the whole sabbath to prepare, I doubt whether it can be right for me, I cannot conscientiously deprive a person the privilege of attending the means of grace for the sake of -my- indulging my appetite, If I love my neighbor as myself, I shall be willing to deny myself that he may enjoy with me the privileges of the sanctuary, O my God grant that I may not only love thee with all my heart, but my neighbor as myself, Help me to do by others as I would have them do by me, The path to heaven is indeed nar row, he that would enter through the Pearly gates must accommodate himself to the way which God has which- God has marked out. 6th Denied myself of dinner, that I might (spend the time in holding?) converse with God, I have been examining my own heart, the result is, I find that I have not so fully glorified God in all things as his word requires. I have verily thought that I was plain in my dress, but I find by comparing my dress with the word of God that I can more fully glorify God by being plainer still, and have promised the Lord that while he striped my heart from sin, I would strip from my body That I will seek his glory in my dress I find also that in eating I might have more fully glorified God, in speaking I fear that I have not made Jesus the Alpha Omega, In thinking, speaking, and acting, I believe it to be my duty privilege to glorify my heavenly Father more fully than I have done, Holiness is, shall be my motto, I think by asking myself the question Will God be glorified by my doing or not doing this or that? I shall be enabled more fully to glorified God, the case stands between God and my soul, I am resolved upon carrying out the principle of holiness let others do as they may, When I am fully convinced that the word of God requires the performance of any duty, I will from henceforth strive to do it regardless of the opinion of men, I will endeavor to comply with the rule which God has laid down whether others are pleased or not, It is of little consequence to me, As for me I cannot conform to this world be guiltless, O that I may examine myself as in the light of Eternity, Eternity what wilt thou unfold O for a strict conform(ity) to the will and image of God in time, then shall I be prepared for Eternity. 8th Friday Eve, I have spent the day profitably in searching the scriptures prayer, that I might know the will of God as it respects the duty of fasting, I find upon a careful research of the word of God, that he requires this of his children, And whoever denies that fasting is the christians duty, denies a part of the word of God, I have ever looked upon this as a duty, but finding it pointed out so clear- ly in the Bible, I feel that I cannot be justified in the neglect of this duty, And better would it be for me not to know the will of God, than after I have known it, not to do it, There is no other way for me to do, than to search for my self, when I have found what the will of God is concerning me, to set myself im- mediately to the doing of it, Experience too has taught me that God approves of my abstinence for he has blessed me greatly in the performance of this duty, I have gained greater victory over self in the performance of this duty than any other O that I may know do the will of God The Lord is still favor ing us in our voyage This morning we entered the trade winds and have sailed pleasantly at the rate of seven miles an hour We were very much amused by the appearance of six or seven Whales spout ing upon the surface of the water True it is that they who go down to the sea in ships see the wonders of God in the mighty deep 12 The more closely I examine the word of God the more fully am I convinced that none but those who are willing to deny themselves take up their cross daily and fol low Christ through evil as well as good rep ort will ever reach heaven And O my soul will thou for the sake of a few (vanities) and follies of earth lose thy better portion in heaven No in the strength of Jesus No I never will give up my shield and basely to the tempter yield Through grace I am de termined to conquer though I die Wednesday Nov 13th, 1839. The trade winds are wafting us pleasantly forward over the bri ny deep, this morning we had the pleasure of seeing, at some distance from us, a large ship, of thinking that we had neighbors, or at least were not ( ) the only ones who were enjoying the blessings of God upon the mighty deep, God is still manifesting himself a as one that is willing and able to save to the utmost, During a few weeks that have passed I have not enjoyed all that fullness of love, which I believe to be the Christians privilege to enjoy; but this mor ( ) while praying, struggling to be freed from all sin, and to be filled with all the fulness of God, I felt that God heard and answered prayer, that the blood of Christ was applie(d) to my heart to the cleansing of it from all sin I felt that Jesus took possession, and while I believed peace like a river flowed from God to my soul, My intention now is to follow the word and spirit of God, to be a perfect Christian, Here O my God I consecrate my soul bodies powers, to thee, thy service forever, O that I may re- member that I am no longer my own, that I have no right to think, speak or act, only as it tends to the glory of God the good of souls, O that I may study to do get good, to improve by every dispensation of Providence, whether it be sickness or health, poverty or wealth, life or death, The language of my heart is, Let no profane delight this consecrated soul divide, Possess it thou, who hast the right as Lord and Master of the whole, O God fill my soul so completely with thyself that there shall be no room for any but thee, Seal O seal my heart to all but thee, And let it be forever sealed, O Lord I will praise thee, for though thou wast angry with me, thine anger is turned away thou comfortest me, My mind has heaven peace within, O keep me still in perfect peace, Bless the Lord O my soul all that is within me bless his holy name, Be it my only business now, to know and do thy will, Only Jesus will I know, Jesus crucified I have given my mortal interest up, made my God, my all, And from henceforth resolve to seek my all in God, O the bliss of those who fully dwell in God, who fully in thee believe, Tis more than angel tongues can tell, or angel minds conceive, O what has not Christ purchased upon the cross for us O for such love, let rocks, hills, their lasting silence break; and all harmonious human tongues; the Saviors praises speak, Wilt thou O my soul be silent when all nature is vocal with the praises of its Creator For be this from thee Awake my soul, with these silent monitors, join to celebrate his praise. Nov 25th 1839 Crossed the Equator this morning at ( ) o clock we are prosspered on our Voyage still moving at the rate of 6 or 8 miles an hour O the infinite goodness of God O that men would praise him for his goodness I still have peace with God am rejoicing in prospect of future usefulness in the missionary field I feel that I have given up the world with all its fleeting charms from hence forth I seek my happiness in God O the privilege of being permited to forsake all for Christ to have hopes of being the instrument in the hands of God of saving heathen souls O that God would fully prepare me for the work give me the wisdom in all things 27th Last evening had a fine view of the Maggellan Clouds They seem to be two -very- large clusters http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magellanic Clouds of very minute stars We also had the pleasure of gazing upon the stars which never adorn the northern hemisphere I find it very interesting to be able to trace out the stars call them by their names to look through nature up to natures God My time is taken up completely so that I have not a moment to spend in repining or complaining From six to seven in the morning is my time for morning devotion From seven to eight study breakfast at eight Prayermeeting in our room at half past eight from 9 until ten studying from 10 till 12 instructing the children of the Missionaries from 12 to 1 studying music, half an hour for dining half an hour after dinner for secret devotion from two until three for reading from three until half past four the afternoon session of my school reading until 5 from five until six prayermeetings in our rooms tea at 6 family prayers at seven after which we usually have prayer or class meetings or lectures These with singing schools twice a week knitting sewing writing keep me very busy I think our school sabbath school and bible class are doing as well as we could expect in s( ) a place under such circumstances Wednesday Evening Nov 27 Sailing 7 miles an hour 5 degrees south latitude 29-13 degrees south latitude sailing 7 miles an hour All things peaceful quiet this evening My own soul is calmly staid upon God My peace like a river O that my righteousness may be like the waves of the sea I have finished the busy concerns of the week and have retired to my stateroom for reading writing meditation and devotion I find it very pleasant to be alone This is the first hour I have been privileged to spend in this way since I have been on board the vessel I have been reflecting upon the great work before me the qualifications I require to prepare me for it -the great work before me- I know that I shall need much wisdom to conduct a school in such a manner as not to give offense but gain the affections of the Natives so as to do them good If I cannot do them good be successful in pointing them to the Lamb of God who taketh away the sin of the world I shall feel that my labor is lost O my God give me wisdom to serve the acceptably Dec 2 The sea is very calm we make but little progress in our voyage to day But it is not lost time as we soon expect to be in the Port of Rio we have much to do to prepare our study We have been very busy to day in writing letters as we can write much better in a calm It is with great difficulty that I write when the vessel is in motion I find that the goodness of God to me is still great he is blessing me with life while others are dead with health while other are sick with the comforts of religion while many are destitute of them With the hopes of heaven while many have never heard of the joys of the upper region know of no reason why they should desire it O my God when I sur vey thy mercies I am ready to exclaim what shall I render to my God for all his gifts to me I certainly is no more than reasonable that I should devote soul and body to his service Dec 3 1839. A pleasant morning a healthful body cheerful spirits Sailing at the rate of 5 miles an hour Thus the winds are wafting me away from sweet home and kind friends But would I have it otherwise No certainly not I feel that I am in the path of duty and the language of my heart is In the desert let me labor On the moun tains let me tell how he died the blessed Savior to redeem a world from hell. 4 Another pleasant morning is calling for the thanks of a grateful heart O that my soul may be melted into love tenderness before God I am not as deeply humble and so completely filled with love to God as is my duty 5 I feel more than usually anxious to serve God with a perfect heart to day O my God guide me in every thought word and action Yesterday had a peculiar trial but I trust that it shall work for my good Last evening heard br Waller preach from the words Grow in grace and in the know ledge of our Lord Jesus Christ O my Heavenly Father grant that I may grow in grace to day Suffer me to do nothing which thy word forbids or leave undone what thy word requires I find that on board a vessel we need all the grace there is for us for we have very many things to try our patience here which upon land we are strangers to 7th A day of bustle and commotion all on board the Vessel are preparing to welcome the sight of land go on shore We have good winds which are wafting us on at the rate of 8 miles an hour Dec 8 The sight of Land seems to cause every countenance to light up with joy The sky is clear the Ocean calm and every thing seems to invite us the holy duties of a sabb ath morning Preaching this afternoon by Br Hines upon the fruits of the spirit which are love joy peace c(?) 9th Old oceans chainless waves are confined this morning all is peaceful as the evening tide We are in a short distance of the port of Rio this morning but have not wind enough to carry us into port We have a fine view of the surrounding mountains It is indeed the most grand (-sublime-) sight I ever beheld The lighthouse is indeed a splendid building There is a very high mountain near the light house called the Parrots peak Just at the left as we enter the port there is a high peak called sugar loaf These two with a great number of smaller peaks extend a number of miles along the coast As we approach nearer the shore new mountains seem to present themselves to our view On the one hand the broad Atlantic spreads its mighty waters while on the other the- towering mountains hide their summits in the clouds. The wind is beginning to blow we are making for the port, The shipping of a busy city is presenting itself to our view, and soon we shall find ourselves strangers in a strange place, While I have been thinking of the condition of the people in this vast region, most of them without hope without God in the world, destitute of the means of grace, exposed to endless death, Many of them just about to enter the eternal world without one ray of hope to cheer their downward path I have felt with the Savior as he drew near the city of Jerusalem He wept over it I think wer he here in person, he would weep over sinners -here- as he did over jerusalem of old, O that I possessed more of that tender sympathy which weeps at others woe We find ourselves this evening quietly anchored in the Port of Rio I think it one of the most delightful scenes I ever beheld The star bespangled sky over our heads the waters of the mighty deep beneath around us are the illuminated streets of a busy city Truly a heart that does not feel emotions of gratitude under such circumstan ces must be unmindful of the goodness of God Truly good ness mercy have followed me all the days of my life Especially since I left the parental roof It is three months this day since I left a Fathers house to seek a home among strangers in a strange land The Lord has been my support my comfort my joy my all I own myself a stranger in a strange- a wandering pilgrim seeking my home in heaven I had some blessed an ticipations as we were sailing into Port of the time when if faithful I should s- enter the Port of endless rest There to bathe my weary soul in seas of heavenly rest not a wave of trouble roll across my peaceful breast Dec 14 Br Spaulding has been on board the Vessel to day He dined with us after giving us some excellent advice bade us farewell until we meet at the bar of God, His visit cheered and encouraged us much on our pilgrimage way, Thanks be to God for Christian fellowship The state of the mission here is not so encouraging as we could desire, but we trust however that the good seed which has been sown here, will spring up produce abundant fruit. Already is there much inquiry for the word of life. O God hasten the time when this dark land of night shall bud and blossom as the rose. 20 We left Rio on sabbath morning again to encounter the dangers of the mighty deep, The sea has been very rough ever since we left the Port, we have again been quite sick, I have scarcely been on deck since we left, I have kept my bed mostly now am trying to write sitting in my birth, I still find it proffitable to observe friday as a day of fasting prayer, I have for some time past felt a lack of faith but in reading, meditation, prayer my faith has caught hold of the promises of God I feel this evening that in him I do will believe, for me, the Savior died, He died for me, I know I feel him mine, in him I have life, peace, happiness heaven, yes, thank God through Christ I have a right to the tree of life, to the New Jerusalem shall if faithful soon leave this wilderness of woe for a man- sion in heaven is it so may I a worm expect a seat among the bloodwashed company O then let me with patience endure the trials privations of a life devoted to God strive with all my ransomed powers to save lost souls from death O for an increase of faith that I may be prepared to work the work of God in a heathen land Dec 24 A most delightfully pleasant morning We are now in Latitude 37 South a pleasant healthy climate with ten thousand blessings calling for songs of loudest praise God is rich in mercy to all that call upon him in faith I have of late proved God to be a prayer hearing God, while I have called upon him in faith I have been abundantly blessed Faith in God I find is the key which unlocks the storehouse of heaven brings the blessings to the soul It is only have faith in God for all things are possible to him that believith I am sensible that I am called to fill a very responsible station, tha(t) I cannot fill it to divine acceptance unless I am filled with all the fulness of God, O my Father come, O thyself in me reveal, O for a deadness to the world, a life to God Let me this moment into nothing fall God be all in all O Jesus Thou art my all I have no other hope thou art all I wish Grant me the visits of thy face I will ask no more This morning seal my heart to all but thee 25 I had a melting time this morning I was made sen sible of my departures from God felt godly sorrow for them con fessed forsook found mercy by believing in Jesus Br Lee prea ched to us this morning from these words, what think ye of Christ(? ) I regard him as my present Savior from all sin He is my Priest my King my God my all By faith I am enabled to call the world s Redeemer mine My faith has been strengthened by re ading the memoir of Carvosso O that I may like him be full of faith the holy ghost The language of my heart is Hiden my faiths capacity wider yet wider still And then with all the Deity My soul forever fill 29 I think the Lord is about to revive his work among us O that there may speedily be a shaking among the dry bones the bone coming to its bone Breath upon us Lord we shall live speak the word only we shall be made whole I see that salvation is by faith alone It is only ask receive only look live O my soul see all they sins on Jesus laid that- approach the throne with thee bring the ever bleeding sacrafice Jesus ever siteth at the right hand of the Father interceding for thee O my soul well mayest thou In all the confidence of hope look up claim the blessing now Praised be God for salvation by faith O let me enjoy it in its fulness 31st A comfortable day to the soul body The goodness of God to me is very great I am permited to behold the last day of another year How has my life been crowned with blessings this year I have enjoyed health of body soul most of the time been enabled to make the sacrafice which I have long felt to be my duty God has assisted me to consecra te soul body spirit time talents substance friends sweet home unreservedly to him I have felt constantly since I left that God approved the step I had taken his blessing rested upon me I have felt that I was in the path of duty have been quiet from fear of evil, I have felt no fear or anxious care while tossed upon the mighty billows far far from the home of my youth the friends of my God the temples of truth I have not for a moment felt a desire to be again with my friends not because I did not love them Nay I did love them often now does my mind fly to my dear native land seem to brood over the dear friends I have left behind mingle with them in their joys sorrows in their morning songs evening devotions as they ascend the hill of Zion It was not that I loved my friends less that I left them but that I loved Christ his cause more than all beside And what I ask could be more reasonable than for God to require the service of my soul body Jesus has left the heavenly world the bosom of the Father the glory of the upper region heavenly world- for me shall I consider it too much to leave my friends spend be spent for him Nay had I a thousand lives I would devote them all to God O my God take me use me as an instrument in they hands of the salvation of hea then souls thy name shall have the glory forever January 1st 1840 Closed 1839 commenced 1840 with prayer, O my soul thy years are fast numbering, This may be thy last; ere another watchnight thou mayest have finished thy course on earth, Thou mayest find a watery grave; or lie buried on Oregons distant shore before another 12 months shall have rolled their solemn round, At longest they stay in the body is short, In view of my past unfaithfulness, the goodness of God to me, the work before me, with the responsibility which rests upon me, I resolve in the strength of God, 1st that no known sins shall have dominion over me, 2 To give myself wholly to the work to which God has called me, 3 Endeavor to seek the glory of God in every thing I do say 4 To labor constantly, untireingly for the salvation of souls, The work to which I am called will require much labor patience, I may not see the fruit of my Labor immediately, so it will be necessary for me to walk by faith not by sight, O that I may be a faithful succ essful laborer in the vineyard of my master, Suffer me never to get weary of welldoing, but may I with patience labor toil, till my deliverer come, to wipe away his servants tears take his exile home, Thanks be to God for the prospe ct of immortality beyond the grave O to grace how great a debtor What has not God done for me Truly his goodness is beyond the comprehension of man O my God thou hast witnessed my resolutions, thou seest how frail I am, how prone to wander, It will be in vain that I have thus resol- ved unless thou assist in the performance, Help me O my God For vain is the help of man, O give me to- -enjoy- the fulness of thy salvation this year, let me fully dwell in thee, believe firmly, rejoice continually, watch constantly, pray fervently, work diligently, hope to the end, We have formed ourselves into a band that we may be mutual helps to each other in the way to heaven O my God grant that our union may close sweet we be faithful in reproving rebuking exhorting with all long suffering patience Jan 3 We had a very proffitable meeting last evening I think the Lord is about to pour out his spirit here I find it profitable to deny myself of earthly food feed upon heavenly manna O the infinite condescen s-tion of God in sending his son to bleed die for me It was on this day of the week and this hour of the day that he bled groaned on Calvary O for such love let rocks hills their lasting silence break all harmonious human tongues their ( lavish?) praises speak O my soul think of the sufferings of thy dying Lord What has not Christ purchased for thee Salvation happiness heaven are all in Jesus name 5 Heard from Br Waller to day from 1 John If we confess our sins he is faithful just to forgive us our sins to cleanse us from all unrighteousness He showed us very clearly that it was our privilege to be cleansed from all sin My soul was fed while listening to the word of life This evening was much blessed in our social prayermeeting I have heaven peace within to day My faith takes hold of the promises of God I am enabled to claim Jesus as my present Savior from all sin, O that I may be suitably thankful for the blessings of salvation, 7 I find our band meetings very proffitable, In the duty of selfexamination these meetings are a great help, O that God would condut them himself, O my soul when wilt thou be all like thy Savior, I am not fervent in my supplications at the throne of grace as I should be, I do not meditate sufficiently upon the word of God, When shall I learn to receive and obey it as coming from God, Wandering thoughts still trouble me, When shall my thoughts all centre in God Come, O my God, and form my soul anew, make me all like my Savior, Let me be inwardly outwardly, conformed to the image of my God, Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love, here is my heart, O take seal it, seal it for thy courts above, Notwithstanding my shortcomings, the Lord frequently blesses me, O that I may be enabled to serve God with every ransomed power of soul body, O the goodness of God to unworthy me While reflecting last evening upon the watchcare of a kind Providence over me I was led to thank God take courage, Well may I hide my face, when I reflect what God has done for me, how little I have done to advance the interests of Christs cause, O that from henceforth I may devote myself exclusively to the work of God, Give my constantly to feel that the glory of God, the salvation of souls may be- is my constant object aim, I do thank God for the prospect before me of laboring for the salvation of Heathen souls; but I am sensible that I am but poorly qualified, for my station, O my God give me wisdom, Make me wise as a serpent harmless as a dove, 8 My soul is cast down to day by the reflection that I am not fully prepared for my work, Soul work is important work but I do not feel the importance of my work as I should, I do not lay it at heart, if I did I could not rest, but should be frequent and ardent in my supplications at a throne of grace, the heathen are perishing for lack of knowledge, God has called me to teach them, he has opened the way for me to go, I have left my home, am now in Latitude 51 South sailing for the far off shores of Oregon, But it is in vain that I go, unless thou my God go with me, if I go to the heathen in the fulness of the blessing of Christ, faithfully discharge my duty, I have not a doubt of souls being converted finally saved, But if I go with a soul but partially engaged in the work, I fear that I shall be a hindrance instead of a help in advanceing the interests of Christs cause in the earth, O my God thou seest my heart, thou knowest how little I feel, O awake me I pray thee give me to feel the worth of souls, the weight of the cause, the responsibility which rests upon me, O the thought That through my instrument tality souls may be saved, through my unfaithfulness they may be lost their blood be required at my hand, O my soul canst thou sleep while such awful conseq- uences rest upon the actions of a few days? Awake O my soul arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light, that thou mayest discharge, thy duty O my God prepare me for my work O that every power of mind body may be devoted to the great work of saving souls, Souls must be saved or they will be lost lost to all eternity Since God works by means some-one is to be employed as the instrument And if God has called me into the field will he not require the souls to whom he has sent at my hands O my God who is sufficient for these things Of my self I can do nothing work thou in through me to do thine own will 9th A pleasant day Land in sight this afternoon Thus far the Lord hath let me on thus far his power prolongs my days and every evening shall make known some fresh memorial of my- his grace We expected much rough sea on our passage to Valparaiso but thus far we have been highly favored My health is improving The health of the mission family is good with the exception of Sister Richmond Sister Parrish 10 One hundred miles South of cape Horn tossed to fro upon the boisterous deep This is the most rough day we have had since we left New York When I awoke this morning I felt that we Were in danger of a watery grave, but my mind was calmly stayed upon God, I feel that angels are watching over me, and nothing can harm me without the permi ssion of my heavenly Father, And since, what he wills is best I have no room for fear, O blessed be his name for that sweet peace which I feel in leaving all in his hands, Tis mine to obey, tis his to provide, Through clouds storms he gently clears my way, O blessed be his name Here Lord I give myself away, O take me make me all thine own, Let every thought desire affection centre in God, I have been much troubled of late with wandering thoughts, O when shall my wan derings cease, Here let me give my wanderings o er by giving thee my heart, O how little I feel for the salvation of poor souls How canst thou rest O my soul while sinners are making their way down to death Awake O my soul awake No longer be indifferent to the great work of saving souls, Give me to feel, to pray, to agonize, to labor untireingly for souls, 12 The gale has subsided we are now moving two miles an hour nearly in our course, Thanks be to God Who has preserved us in the midst of danger, O that gratitude may be written upon our hearts, 15 The sea is still rough, but we are still preserved in the midst of dangers seen unseen, Think O my soul of the unbounded goodness of God How many great are the blessings bestowed upon me, But Alas how unworthy Little indeed do I do for God, little do I feel for immortal souls, There seems to be a sort of stupidity, or dulness resting upon my mind, The energies of my soul are not fully awake to the great work before me, I read I meditate, I pray and yet I do not feel for the salvation of souls as I think a christian especially a christian miss ionary should, O my God how long shall this in- difference remain? Come O my God, this mountain sin remove, Give me to see things in their proper light Give me an earnest, agonizing, spirit of prayer for undying spirits, 17th I have been reflecting upon the condition of our guilty world, O the guilt, the misery, the cruelty, oppressi on, which prevails Would to God that vice and misery were confined in the darkness of paganism, But when I look to my own native land I am lead to exclaim when shall iniquity cease? -When I think of the- Lying, thefts, covetou sness, evilspeaking, swearing, sabbath breaking, deception, cruelty in almost every form cover our earth, Another evil still darkens our land of boasted freedom, It is the cruel monster slavery lifting its head as from the infernal regions, grasping in its iron chains the blood bought souls of immortality, and draging them down to the pit of woe, O when shall this successful weapon of satan be driven back to its native hell When shall the long neglect ed sons of oppression go free When shall they be pointed The Lamb of God who is able to save them from the still worse bondage of sin Number with these the secret sins of the heart, as pride, envy, hatred, love of the world, c And who will after looking at sin as it reigns, start at the truth which declares, the heart of man to be deceitful above all things desperately wicked, Who can know it? He that knows his own heart is truly wise, O my God give me the light of thy spirit that I may see my heart as thou seest it, O the sins of my own heart The sins of a town, state, nation No wonder that Jesus sweat great drops of blood, while groaning under the weight of the sins of a guilty world, O my God what did thine only son endure before I drew my breath, What pain, what labor, to secure my soul from endless death And shall I be careless or indifferent in a cause which cost the life of the Prince of peace Nay Rather let every power of mind and body be conscrated to the great work of saving -my- souls, 21 Since the 10 we have made little or no progress in our Voyage, We are wafted on a few miles by the wind then driven back, Thus we seem to be the sport of the wind, But shall we complain? Surely not Doubtless God has some wise design in keeping us here, O that it may be the means of our being more fully prepared for our work, We had heavenly time in our social prayermeeting last evening, O that the sweet gates of heavenly grace may continually waft us to the port of endless rest, When shall I dwell fully in God? When shall every thought centre in God When shall it be mine to glorify God in every thought, word, look act. Come O my God the promise seal, this mountain sin remove, I cannot rest till pure within, Till all I have in thee be lost till all be lost in God O my soul think what thy Savior has bought for thee be not faithless but believing, Be not afraid, only believe, Jesus thy debt has paid, he hath full atonement made, O my God I throw myself upon thy mercy, Save me or I perish, O save me now, this moment save, with full salvation bless 22 Yesterday was a good day to my soul, my faith was increased, hope confirmed, This morning I feel like trusting in God, moving forward in the path of duty, O that I may grow in grace from day to day, thus grow up into Christ my living head, O that my mind may be staid upon God to day, Assist me in my studies to day-, let my mind be clear active, my memory strong retentive, 23 59 degrees south Lat- The air is very cold, but the warmest they have in this Latitude the days are very long, the sun rises at 3 in the morning and sets at 9 in the evening, it is not dark all night. 23 Some of our company are quite sick, perhaps in a few days may be in the eternal world; O my Father may I remember how frail I am, how soon I may be called to give an account of my stewardship, Give me to feel the importance of living every day as though it were my last, O shall I not regret my un- faithfulness upon a dying bed, Help me O my God to impress the present time to thy glory, We are still detained by winds and storms and gales, Cape horn would indeed be a dubious place to me did I not feel that I was my Fathers business had his presence, 25 I feel the need of having a sense of the ever present Deity, O that I may remember that thou God seest me, It is a great thing to profess to be a follower of Christ, but greater far to follow him in all things 27 Yesterday while abstaining from temporal food looking to God for the bread of life my soul was abund antly fed refreshed, Since then I have looked up with confidence called God my Father, my friend, my all, I enjoy a sweet peace of soul, Heaven begun in my soul, O the blessedness of believing in God O that I may believe continue to believe, Faith is the conductor between God and the soul, I have consecrated my all to God resolve to devote myself exclusively to God- him, 28 Having been detained about the cape 17 days we feel thankful this morning for a fair wind which is wafting us at the rate of five miles an hour toward our desired field of labor O that we may be fully prepared for our work Thanks be to God that he has opened the way enabled me to make the sacrafice, if a sacrafice it may be called, Give me to feel the importance of the work to which thou hast called me, Help me to discharge my duty in thy fear with an eye single to thy glory, 30 The goodness of God is manifest in all his works, The blessing of God rests upon me, I feel his approving smiles, I have the assurance that I am in the path of duty therefore am conten ted and happy. 31 7 degrees west of the cape, We are now sailing on the mild waters of the vast pacific, Thanks be to God for his watchcare over us His arm though unseen has upheld us But alas My shortcomings I find myself ere I am aware off my guard, giving way to lightness, Speaking in a manner which is not for the glory of God, or doubting When, O when shall every thought word and look be for thy glory When shall I live believe by the moment O hasten the time when no sin inward or outward shall have domin ion over me When I shall have complete victory in the name of the Lord I have salvation in Christ O let me have it in my soul Help me to exercise a present living active faith in Christ Feb 1st Another month has passed into Eternity And O my soul soon wilt thou be there A few days more and Eternity with all its dread realities will unfold to my vision O that I may so improve each passing moment that I may meet it with joy in a coming day 3 A good day to my soul I feel that it is sweet to be passive in the hands of God and feel no will but his 4 I have not lived as near to God to day as I thought this morning I should O my God forgive I pray Feb 5th been writing to dear friends, O that the blessing of God may accompany my letters, Help me to seek thy glory in all that I do, What is life to me unless I am laboring for the salvation of souls, Let me die rather than live to no purpose, O my soul awake thou to action, thy earthly pilgrimage is short, thy race will soon be run, Soon thou must stand before thy Judge, A few days and thou wilt enter thy eternal rest, And wilt thou be so unwise as to spend these golden moments in any worldly pursuit, O tell me no more of this worlds vain store the time for such trifles with me now is o er 7 Not having felt the clear evidence that I loved God with all my heart for some time passed I resolved this evening that I would give the throne of grace no rest until it was renewed, I felt that it was for me that God was waiting to impart, all that was wanting was for me to exercise faith in the in Christ, I made a full consecration of all to God I struggled long, hard but finding that I was not to merit it in any way, I sin fully gave up believed was saved, I believed that God should do the work, that he was doing it, finally that it was accomplished, My soul rejoiced in God its Savior, When I believed what a joy I received, what a heaven in Jesus love It was a life of love, a heaven below, my Redeemer to know to feel his blood flow, By faith I knew my sins on earth forgiven, My soul was so filled with glory with God that my sleep departed from me, I spent the night in numbering o er those riches joys which heaven prepares for my delight, 12 Since my last date I have been sick, I have sat up but little but my soul has been well, I have enjoyed a sweet and constant peace of mind a fortaste of those joys which which await me, It s a life of love, it is a heaven below, Glory to God I feel it so, Well may angel minds be lost to ponder dying loves mysterious call, O that all his salvation may see Waft Waft ye winds his story, you ye waters roll, Till like a sea of glory its spreads from pole to pole, Till o er our ransomed nature the lamb for sinners slain Redeemer king creator in bliss returns to reign O hasten the time April 3d 1841 O my God I consecrate these pages to thee Help me so to record thy dealings, that it may prove a help to me in my way to the mansion which thou hast prepared for me 4th Wellcome sweet day of rest that saw the Lord arise Wel- come to this receiving breast and these rejoicing eyes I hail this day of all the week the best as an an- tepast of that eternal sabbath which I am fast appr oaching I have had free access to a throne of grace to day and much liberty in praying for the Heathen I see them in their lost deplorable condition and feel a desire to live and be useful among the m But if the Lord takes me he will doubtless raise up another who shall more than fill my place These heathen are the purchase of his sons blood and sure they shall not be left in darkness No let a thousand lives more precious than mine be sacrafised before these blood bought souls be left to perish in their depth of misery 6th Laboring under bodily infirmities but enjoying a quiet frame of mind I find my time very much taken up with the cares and labors of my family and my schollars The task of instru cting the youthful mind in the principles of science and religion is as pleasent to me as ever No work to me looks so desirable I would that I could enter into it more fully than I can at present I love the work but sometimes think I am doing the last I shall ever do in this world Thy will O my God be done Only let me be ready whenever thou shalt call The ties which bind me to a beloved companion and the desire of being useful to the heathen is all that binds me to earth I have most earnestly desired to wear myself out in laboring for the salvation of heathen souls But my heavenly Father knows what is best I Therefore cheerfully submit all into his hands May 9th Since my last date I have been very sick. I have given premature birth to a tender infant, God ( ) mited us to hold it in our embrace three short days then in mercy relieved the little sufferer of all its pa( ) and took it to himself, The Lord gave the Lord hath take( ) away and blessed be the name of the Lord, I see the han( ) of God in my early delivery, had it been otherwise it would without doubt have terminated my earthly course, Thanks to God for bringing me up from the gates of death I have enjoyed much of the presence of God during my illness, a sweet submission to his will, whether in life or death, In six troubles the Lord has been with me, and in the seventh he did not forsake me, Thus far his grace has been sufficient, and I doubt not it will be to the end, The Lord has spared me a little longer, the brittle thread is still lengthened out, O that the remainder may all be spent in the service of God. 18th My health is imp -roving but I find that I need more grace to keep my mind quiet patient while I see so much around me to be done and have strength to do but very little Last week two of the Ships companies of the Exploring Expedition anchored here under the Command of Capt( ) Wilkes several of the officers have called on us and I am happy to say they are in ever respect gentlem en I sometimes fear that bodily infirmity cares labor company will take up too many of my thoughts while the things of God have too few. Coulitz June 9th Set out from Nesqually last saturday for our appointment at Wallamette, arrived here safely last evening after journeying three days on horseback ( ) one of the worst roads, twice I saw my dear co( ) ion thrown from his horse, but through the good ( ) of God he escaped with little injury, Thanks t( ) for bringing us safely through, dangers seen ( ) seen, In our journeys here I realize most ( ) that dangers stand thick and all around to hurry mortals to the tomb, Monday evening we camp ed on the spot where an Indian was shot by another Indian who owed him a grudge Some trust in horses chariots and in the greatness of their strength but we will trust in the living God who alone can deliver in time of trouble, Wallamette falls June 19th Reached this place on monday last We are waiting here for br Lee I am busy in making shirts for the Indians They are quite numerous here more so at this season of the year than any other This being their fishing season Salmon are taken at these falls in abundance The indians here are not as indolent as those with whom we have been labor ing the year past I think this a very promising field But our labors here and every where will prove abortive unless God lay to his helping hand O my God send down thy spirit let these heathen tribes be gathered into thy fold 27th A lovely sabbath all nature is gay and cheerful but I feel truly that I am in a land where ignorance and superstition hold their universal sway Br Wal ler Mr Willson have gone to hold a meeting with the Mola ly tribe O that God by his holy spirit may seal instruction to their hearts I feel much dissatis fied with what I have done for the heathen my labors for their souls seem faint few and I know not that I can at present be of that service to them that I anticipated except by my example O my God grant that, that may be holy in all respects worthy their imitation I received letters from the States on the 16th which were as cold water to a thirsty soul One from my dear only sister bearing the Pleasing inteligence of her conversion Thanks be to God for what he has done for her soul July 3d I feel a spirit of prayer for my dear companion and myself that we may be drawn more fully into God and that we may labor more faithfully and successfully for the perishing heathen O my God open a door of usefulness to us July 14th Through abundant cares and labors I feel my self quite weak in body but the Lord is the strength of my soul The indians here have threatened our lives we know not when we lie down to sleep but we may be awakened by the war whoop of combined savage tribes 17th The Lord is still our protector Our lives healths are still precious in his sight Thanks to God for his watchcare I look upon all things around me as dark and uncertain My only consolation is in looking up God alone is a strong tower a rock of defence He alone can protect us from the dart of the arrow or the stab of the knife Br Waller and my dear are now holding a meeting with the tribe who have threatened their destruction, O thou who hast promised to be with thy servants to the end, be with them, give edge to thy truth, let it find its way, even to the wildest savage s heart, O Lord bless our enemies make them thy friends I think I begin to realize something of the trials of the Missionary O my God may thy all work for my good Aug 6th My dear love has left this morning to spend a few days at Wallamette O that the Lord may go with protect defend and return him again to the bosom of his unworthy companion while we are separated in body may we together wait in spirit at the throne each for a blessing to rest upon the other I have set apart this day as a day of self examination O my God grant me the light of thy spirit that I may see clearly the true state of my heart O my God I would this morning join myself to thee in an everlasting co(ven)ant thine I live and thine I die Purge my soul and prepa(re) it a dwelling place for thyself Aug 14 My dear lov(e) has been absent 1 week yesterday the time seems very long but I am saved from painful anxiety by resting all in the will of God 16 One year this day I was joined in holy wedlock with my dear Mr Willson The time has passed swiftly and pleasantly away Sweet sacred has been the peace happiness which I have enjoyed in the society of one of the best of husbands O that the coming year may be one not only of peace happiness but of great prosperity in the things of God. O my God grant that we may to- gether grow up into thee our living head May we labor together successfully in the yolk of Christ I feel a freedom in offering soul and body to the Lord as a living sacrafice O that is may be holy and accept able in his sight 18th My dear is yet detained by what I know not O my God thou knowest all things and wilt not suffer any thing to befal him which shall not be for thy glory 19th Received a note from my dear informing me that he is rafting lumber down the river for a house, although deprived of the society of the dear one for a few days, I am not deprived of the presence of God, This morning while at my devotion, I saw my sins like mountains rise before me, and saw too that I could not atone for the least one of them, I then felt the blessing of taking Christ the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world, and presenting him to God as a sacrafice ever ready, ever acceptable, for the atonement of my sins, With this sacrifice God is ever well pleased, What a blessing that we are permited to come to the altar at any, and at all times and ever find a sacrafice that is ready, and that will be acceptable, for God cannot turn away the presence of his son. No matter how great or many our sins if we in faith pres ent the Lamb of God for sinners slain it will atone for the whole My soul falls in love with Jesus the great atoning Lamb Uncesing praise to God throughout Eternity for the gift of his son 29th My mind is sweetly staid upon God my will is sinking into his I desire to have no will of my own but to feel in all things thy will be done My dear companion returned on Friday evening after an absence of three weeks while prepa ring his raft he stepped upon a piece of timber which rolled under his feet and pitched him down the bank of the river and broke one of his ribs this detained him several days true it is that dangers stand thick and all around to hurry mortals to the tomb O my God may we learn from this accident that we are ever exposed to danger and death and so keep our selves ready for the coming of the son of man I was much pleased with a sentence I met with to day in Mrs. Mortimers memoir Life is the dressing room for Eternity We are called to put off the old man with his deeds and to put on the Lord Jesus Christ When we are in our dressing rooms preparing for any particular place on an occasion we usually put on garments suitable for the place and company where we are to be entertained So let us do while in the dressing room of life let us put off the tatter ed garments of sin and self righteousness and put on the beautiful garments of holiness the robe of Christ s righteousness Yea let us wash our robes and make them white in the blood of the Lamb and be fully prepared to enter the New jerusalem the city of the living God What a dreadful thing it would be if our Lord should come to take us to the man sions he is preparing for us and find our souls undrest focovered with sin and pollution as they by nature are the word has gone forth that nothing unclean shall enter that holy place O Lord cleanse our souls bodies and spirits and clothe us with salvation through Christ 17 Sept My health is poor a very sharp pain in my left side daily reminds me that I am mortal and must soon change this mortal for immortality Oct 1st again I am deprived for a few days of the society of my dearest earthly friend O god make up for his absence by giving me to enjoy more of thyself Bless the absent one I pray fill him with the fulness of thy love Nov 27th Since my last date I have been to spend a few weeks with my friends at the Wallamette station I think they are growing in grace O my God pour out they spirit upon each station and let the member(s) of this mission be as so many lights in a dark place I think the journey has benefited my health for which I thank God and take courage Dec 26th I am reminded that another year of my life is ab out closing up its accounts as being seated unto the great day The past year has been filled with mercies blessings from God to unworthy me The watchcare and forbearance of my heavenly Father calls for my soul and body as a living sacrafice to him Dec 31st The Lord has mercifully spared me another year but O how little fruit have I brought forth I have been too much like the bareen fig tree just indeed would it be if God should cut me down O Lord I beseech thee forgive the past for thy sons sake Amen amen My days my months my years fly rappid as the whi -rling sphere around the steady pole Soon ah soon will the last fleeting moment be spent Jan 1st 1842 Thanks to thy name for permiting me to welcome the first moments of this new year O Lord I offer my soul and body and all anew to thee I pray thee accept it through the son of thy love April 3 Laboring under bodily infirmi ties weaknesses but feeling God within strength ening the soul My dear companion as well as my is advancing in the way to heaven April 16th again I am permited to wellcome the aniversary of my birth day 24 years of my life have already past how many remain to be spent in this world is known only to God O my God thou knowest every trial that awaits me this year I pray thee prepare me to meet whatever awaits me with Christian firmness fortitude and humble submission to thy will O my God I cast my all at thy feet praise thee for thy good ness past and with humble confidence trust thee for all that is to come July 6 A day of pain in this mortal frame but of peace in the soul I do very much enjoy communion with God I feel the importance of having my example what it should be christian influence is very much needed here to secure the peace happiness of this fast rising comm. unity O my- my God make us who profess to love thee truly christlike in all our deportment Aug 16 Two years ago this day I was united in the closest earthly union to my dear W who has proved himself to be one of the best of husbands I do think God has enabled us so far to walk together as he designed that we should The sweets of domestic bliss are only known to those who enjoy them in their purity God has made our union indeed blessed The family circle where God is at the head and rules each heart is truly a little heaven upon earth Sept 4 I have been enabled to grow in grace the past week and my desire is to grow up into Christ O that I may live to God while I live and when I die may I die and come- go to him Our prospects for doing good in this land are very dark Rum is being sold here and we fear very much harm will be done by ardent spirit and the spirit of the Lord will not long inhabit the same body toge ther I look upon as being a great curse I would that the torrent of iniquity might be stayed O Lord turn it back if thou canst consistently if not O prepare thy servants to lift up a standard against it Oct 9 1842 My dear companion finds that his bodily infirmity forbids the discharge of his duty to the mission as carpenter he therefore concludes after much deliberation and prayer to leave the mission and enter a door which a kind providence has opened to him where he hopes to be more useful than he can be in the mission at present A physician is needed in the settlement and as his knowledge of med icine enables him to act as such he enters upon the duties of this new relation to the wor ld in the fear of God praying that which he administers to the bodies of his fellow men God will administer salvation to the soul and so soul and body both shall be saved He is in this way enabled to support his family and save the missionary society a great expense Many may wonder at our leaving the mission but- and I should won der too if we were leaving the field to return home I consider that we are by no means leaving the missionary field we are only leaving one department for another where we hope to be more useful Nov 2 Left the Falls for the Wallamette sett lement through the goodness of a kind providence we reached this place in peace and safety Dec 31st Another year has passed its accounts are sealed up I look back with re gret upon my past unfaithfulness O God forgive I come as I am and present myself to thee and in faith offer the only sacrafice I have to bring accept of the offering Christ has made in my behalf and let me be freed from my sins Jan 1st, 1843 The Lord has spared me to commence a new year thanks to his name O that I may spend it in his service I have this evening given myself anew to God and feel that he is mine and I am his O God seal me thine unto the day of redemption O that thy image may be so stamped upon my heart as to appear in all my deportment God has lately called upon us to (illegible) ready to meet him at any time by taking Br Olley from us he was coming down the Wallamette river his canoe upset and he was hurried into the presence of his Maker He lived a Christi an and without doubt is now praising God in a world of spirits bright O Lord prepare me to follow him Feb 1st The call for us to be ready to meet our God has again been repeated and still louder than before Six of our fellow mortals have been in a mo ment ushered into the presence of their God Br Sister Rogers a sister of Mrs Rogers Esq Crocker and two indians are gone Their canoe went over the Falls and they had no chance for escape O my God sanctify this event of thy Providence to my good March 3 I think the solemn warning has been sanctified to my good I feel the importance of being rea dy to meet my God I am striving to make my calling election sure O that I may be enabled to discharge the duties of each day as it passes My duties to my God to my soul to my companion to the children who are under my watchcare and to the world O my God give me grace to perform every duty with an eye single to thy glory April 16 another year has rolled away and I am still spared 25 years I have lived in this vale of tears before 25 years more shall have passed I shall with out doubt be in heaven or hell I do resolve to devote myself more fully to God and his cause April 30 Our little community is in a state of excitement agitation the news is all abroad that the Indians are coming to cut us all off it may be true I acknowledge that our sins and unfa ithfulness call for Gods wrath and displeasure but we still hope and pray that he will in mercy spare our men I have this morning commenced a small sabbath school where I hope to be useful May 1st commenced my favorite employment of teach ing my charge is small but a very precious one Sabbath I have been proffited to day while listening to the word of life as it fell from the lips of my com panion Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do do it with thy might c Sabbath a very proffitable day to my soul Br Leslie has returned from the Islands I received a letter from my parents bearing the in teligence of Sister Wells death thus I am taught the frailty of mortal life O that I may be ready when my Master calls My school and sabbath school are becoming quite interesting to me Sun The past week has been a happy one to my soul The Lord blesses me in my school O that I may discharge my duty faithfully to my precious charge 18th June Thank God that I have lived to see this day I have been permited to enjoy another quarterly occa sion again I have consecrated my all anew to God and commemorated the death of my risen and ascend ed Lord and witnessed 14 children of the forest unite with the children of God and give themselves to God in baptism also four from the Sandwich Is lands July 5th formed a Temperance Society called the Oregon Juvenile Temperance Society May the Lord bless and prosper it and make it a great blessing to the youth of Oregon July 18th I have been to the quality Plains to attend the first campmeeting held in Oregon for whites It was a time of gracious refreshing from the presence of the Lord My strength was renewed and I am now better prepared to do the will of him that sent me to this land I find it easy to love God more than all besides, I enjoy a holy pleasure in doing his will Believers very quickened backsliders reclaimed and between 15 and 20 converted I felt an ardent desire to see souls converted and now I feel no less desire to see them moving straight for ward in the way to heaven O my God speed them on their journey to the new jerusalem I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world but O keep them from the evil We went between 30 40 miles on horseback to attend the campmeeting and felt that we were amply rewarded Since my last date I have been permit ted to attend a campmeeting at Wallamette and a protracted meeting at the Falls The Lord has done much for the people of Oregon many souls have been brought from darkness to light and are now the faithful children of God thanks be to God for what he has done but O my God let this be but as a drop before a more plentiful shower At the Wallamette camp meeting the Lord met me in a very gracious manner While br Lee was preaching from these words The spirit and the bride say come and let him that heareth say come let him that is athirst come and whosoever will let him come take the water of life freely My soul thirsted for the water of life I came to the fountain and drank and my soul was satisfied I again tasted of that perfect love which casteth out all tormenting fear my greatest fear since that time has been that of offending God O my God help me to go on to perfection Dec 28 attended a wedding at Mr Smiths Miss B Smith has united her destiny with Br Fletcher They are both pious an I trust will be helpers to each other in the way to heaven May the Lord bless and sanctify their union Dec 31 The Lord has brought me to the last day of this year The year has been filled up with mercies and blessings I have been blessed with a comforable measure of health My husband has been blessed and prosspered in business we have had peace in our borders and plenty in our stores Our domestic peace has been like a river we are closely and firmly united in the Lord and together render thanks to him for making keeping us so sweetly one Above all I would render thanks to God for his blessing to our souls the past year has been one of greater prosperity to my soul than either of the previous years which I have spent in Oregon I have enjoyed much peace of mind sweet communion with God My heart is fixed upon loving and serving God as long as I live Jan 1 1844 Thanks be to God for permiting me to commence a new year I enter upon with an ear- nest desire that all its moments may be spent in the service of God 7 Attended meeting at the Mission School was much blessed Thanks be to God for christian society I have the- to mingle with the righteous on earth O that I may be permitted to dwell among them on high I have enjoyed much peace of mind to day 12 My indian girl and br Leslies little daughter are both absent, I find myself quite lonely but I have the unspeakable privilege of communing with God. 28 I have been a long time deprived of seeing my dearest earthly friend But God is good to me and gives me grace as my day O my God help me to glorify thee in my school this week Feb 1st Another month has commenced and with it I would commence glorifying thee O my God more fully than I have done Next month I hope to be with the partner of my joys and sorrows the time, he has been absent seems very long but God is good to me and makes even this privation a blessing as I feel my loneliness more I repair often to the throne of grace and there meet the best of friends Feb 6 I think I am drawing nearer to God O that I may dwell in him I see nothing worth living for but the salvation of my own soul and others Feb 9th 1844 My life is passing away but I am trying to full up my days with usefulness O for a closer walk with thee my God Help me O my God to lead the minds of my scholars to thee Feb 13 God has permited me to enjoy the unspeak able privilege of spending a few days with my dearest earthly friend We have enjoyed sweet and profit able seasons of prayer together and encouraged each other to do the will of God Thanks be to God for a companion who is truly a help meet for me in the way to heaven In the order of Gods providence we are again separated for a short time O my Father sanctify this, painful as it is to our good, There is no society in the world that I prize as I do my dear companions gladly would I ever be with him but I find that the work of God requires that he should leave at times leave the- sweet home and seek the wand ering souls of men Thy will O God be done I had a severe struggle yesterday in my mind between duty and affection, duty to my scholars ? to say stay; affection to my companion, go after a severe struggle I decided upon denying self doing duty, To day mind has been as calm and peaceful as it was disturbed and troubled yesterday Feb 23 There have been several murders commit ed among the indians this winter and the lives of s a number of white men threatened O Lord to thee we commit the peace- interest of this rising colony grant it peace and prosperity we pray and come and claim it for thine own inheritance Feb 26 This present term of my happy and interesting school closes this week O help me to discharge my whole duty to the dear children March 5 attended quarterly meeting at the Mission school had an interesting and profit able time 8th Three of our fellow citizens have been wounded by the indians two of them have since died of their wounds I fear they have gone unprepared O my God help me to hold myself in readiness to depart at a moments warning O give me to feel for sinners as I ought 20 I have for a- some months past felt that there were two ways before us that one of them was the path of duty and of course the path of safety and the other -was- though pleasant and profitable so far as it relates to this world would in the end lead us into difficulty The way is open for my companion to continue in his business and increase his earthly store and another way is open for him to give up all and devote himself wholly to the work of the ministry, A Preacher is much needed at the Twallaty plains Mr. Willson has been solicited by the preacher to go and take the oversight of the church there We are only waiting that we may know the will of God in this matter O my God leave us not choose our own way but do thou direct our steps O do lead us in the right path We feel our insufficiency for so important and responsible a station We throw our selves into thine arms take us O Father do with us as seemeth good in thy sight Send us where thou wilt only let us have thy presence and blessing But O sen d us not up hence unless thou thyself go with us, without thee we can do nothing If thou wilt go and abide with us and work in and through us to save souls here we are send us If thou wilt have us go Perfect us for the work give us to feel the spirit of our station 24 I have been privileged with hearing the sweet sound of the gospel as it fell from the lips of my companion He is able to save to the utmost all that come to God by him also for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him might not perrish but have d- everlasting life Thanks be to God for his presence and blessing I feel more and more like giving my mortal interest up and making God my all Every cir- cumstance seems to say that the time has fully come for my companion to give up his worldly business and devote himself fully to the work of saving souls 30 Thanks to God for sparing my life O that my lengthe ned days may be all consecrated to thee I feel that I would receive of the fulness of God Apr 16th The aniversary of my birth day has rolled round gain Another year of my life has been filled up with mercies and blessing I am under increased obligations to devote my life to God O that my days may be filled up with usefulness May 10 Sister Hatch Sister Carter and myself have formed ourselves into a band and find it the meetings very proffitable to our souls I am advancing slowly in the way to heaven Br Hines and his wife who- left last fall for the states but not finding a ship ready to sail they spent the winter at the Islands and returned May their stay in this land prove a blessing May Br Gary wife have reached this place in safety after a long sea voyage Br Gary is sent by the Missionary board to settle up the temporal concerns of this Mission he will s- probably stop with us a year or two he is an excellent preacher and I trust will do good in the country July 10th It is finally decided that we shall go to the Institute, as the inclination of the tree depends so much upon the direction given to the twig It is thought best that we should open a boarding school immediately and try to give a proper direction to the minds of the youth in this country O my God direct and bless July 12 I have attended a campmeeting at Yam hill The Lord was with us wanderers were reclaimed and one of the greatest sinners in the world converted (Joe Meeks) My own soul has been blessed and proffited Aug 13th 1844 Oregon Institute Tuesday morning commence School with five scholars I feel the weight of responsibility which rests upon me in giving character to this infant Institution O my Father thou seest my in- sufficiency be thou my strength my wisdom my all in all Let all my works in thee be wrought, let all be wrought in God. Thou seest the desire of my heart for the prosperity of this institution but without thy blessing it can never prosper Thy blessing rest upon it O my Father Aug 21 I have 9 in school now and so far things go on much to my mind Thanks to thy name of my Father for the past O continue thy blessing unto us Sat eve a couple of young ladies from the Falls have just reached here with the intention of spending a few months in school O my God grant that their stay here may prove a great blessing to them Sept 1st attended quarterly meeting at this place the Lord was present and made our meeting profitable unto us Sept 15 The number in my school has in- creased to 13 I feel that I am in the path of duty and the Lord blesses me in it O that I may be assisted to discharge every duty in the fear and love of God Sept 22 I have heard an excellent discourse to day from br Judson O that it may be sanctified to my good and that I may be fully prepared for that day when I must stand before the Judg(e) Seat of Christ The Lord blesses me in my school and sabbath school I find the Lord helps me in explaining the scriptures to the children and while I am laboring to instruct them I am myself instructed by the spirit of God I do indeed take great delight in studying the scriptures the y- more I study the more I love the work My husband left yesterday and un less he can find a Physician who will go in his stead he must go to Clatsop and be gone several weeks This is a trial to me as he has been obliged to be absent so much lately he had just returned from the Falls and I fondly hoped he would not be called away again soon but O my Father thou knowest what is best do thou in mercy direct all his steps and give me submission to thy will if he goes I pray thee go thyself with him and protect and prosper him and return him in peace and safety in due time Oct 30 The Lord was with us in -the- our wor ship to day I felt his presence in class I felt such a sense of my own unworthiness as led me to cast myself helpless and dependant at the feet of Christ and look to him alone for salvation I nothing have nor wish beside Jesus and him crucified The constant care of my scholars in school and out keeps me very busy Dec 9th 1844 Our dear sister Judson has gone to her rest She has suffered beyond description for three years during which time she has manifested true christian patience and submission to the will of God I spoke to her a little before she died about being near her home in heaven and she said yes, I am ready to go She called her children around her and bade them farewell and reque sted them to meet her in heaven which they promised to do While I stood by her corpse and thought of her holy life and peaceful death I felt to pray let my life be the life of the righteous and let my last end be like his O my God I give myself to thee in an everlasting covenant Make me thine, and like thyself Let me dwell in thee, thou in me, O my God make me holy, that I may glorify thee in the responsible station which I am called to fill, O give me wisdom and prudence and patience, and above all give me the same spirit which my Master breathed Amen amen Jan 1st 1845 Another year has fled and I am spared O the goodness of God Surely God is love or he would not have borne with my failings my unfaithfulness and heartwanderings another year O my soul and all that is within me return thanks to God for his unbounded goodness to thee I have come short of glorifying God fully and constantly the past year O my God forgive for thy sons sake Prone to wander Lord I feel it prone to leave the God I love Here is my heart O take and seal it for thy courts above Here Lord I give myself away tis all that I can do Glorify thyself in my body and spirit which are thine O Lord I am thine and thou art mine O keep me unto eternal life April 8th The second term of my school comm ences to day I would return thee sincere and thanks for thy goodness and blessing which crowned my effort ts during the first term of- and now O my God I would give myself to thee, if thou canst use so feeble and unworthy a worm in guiding the youth of this land to thyself, here I am employ me as thou wilt, but leave me not to myself, stand by me, be my God and my guide, Let me every moment have the influence of thy spirit 13th We have this day followed the lifeless remains of one who was yesterday at this hour, with the little group of children as lively and playful as either of them True it is that in the midst of life we are in death O my God sanctify this sudden death to the good of the school June 15 We have been favored with a visit from Dr Whitman Missionary among the Indians in the upper country Our school is increasing in numbers and interest We number 32 pupils O my Heavenly Father give me wisdom patience prudence zeal Fortitude and every qualification thou seest I need all our good must come from thee and to thee belong the praise Oct 7 I have spent several weeks of vacation in traveling and on a visit to the coast My health is much improved and I am again engaged in the pleasing employment of train ing the youthful mind The third term of our school commenced last month O Lord we look to thee for success in the great work Oct 21 I have this day consecrated my soul ? body anew to God and feel that he owns the sacrafice The Lord is mine and I am His Jan 1 The Lord was with us last night in our watch meeting The goodness of God has been great to me the past year and I feel like devoting my lengthened life to him Jan 5 We have had a protracted meeting at this place believers have been quickened and several have been converted The praise belongs to God alone I have been enabled to consecrate myself to God without reserve and now I feel that he receives me and that for his sons sake he does and will save me O that I may know the utmost of his salvation Lord thou art able and willing too O save me now I believe; help thou mine unbelief 24 I do believe the Lord reigns as King in my heart slay thine enemies O Lord and cast them out of thy kingdom Feb 18 1846 The third term of our school closes to day We have had difficulties and trials to contend with but in the midst of all the Lord has been with us. We trust in him to deliver us and open up our way March 10 I have been reading a work on mammon and trust it will be sanctified to my good True it is that selfishness is the gr eat sin of the church and world I find that it has had too great a place in my heart O my God save me from it To thee, to thee against myself I cry O for grace to serve thee with all my redeemed powers Apr 5 I have been exceedingly tossed and tempted by satan of late but this day the Lord appears for my deliver ance O that I may gain and retain complete victory June 10 Attended a campmeeting at the Twallaty Plains It was a profitable season to my soul July 1st attended a campmeeting near this place The Lord was with us and great good was done in His name My spiritual strength has been greatly increased Now O my Father I pray thee help me henceforth to serve thee from a fixed principle not from feeling July 27 The fourth term of our school has opened to day The Lord has brought us through severe trials and cleared up our way before us O that we may ever trust in thee and not in ourselves Thou art our wisdom and strength Aug 3 On the account of some trials connected with our school last term I felt disheartened about engaging in it again but I have never spent a happier week in school than the past O Father if we may but have thy blessing and presence all will be well; but without it all our efforts are in vain, I have felt a sweet settled peace of mind since the campmeeting Thanks be to God for his great salvation June 4th Another year of our school closes to day The Lord has been with us and granted us peace and prosperity O my God I would here return thanks to thee for thy blessing which has attended our labors 20 I have been waiting upon God to day and feel that my spiritual strength has been renewed Sept 14, 1848 The Lord has been with me since my last date in six troubles and in the seventh he did not forsake me, During all the difficulties with the Indians my trust has been in the living God and my mind stayed upon him, Thank the Lord O my soul for his goodness to thee, My Heavenly Father has increased my responsibilities by committing to my charge a lovely daughter, I feel that the trust is one of very great importance and that my influence upon her will be felt through all eternity. My constant prayer is that I receive grace and wisdom from God to discharge my whole duty to the child, Grant O my Father that she may be an eminently devoted christian on earth and a glorified spirit in heaven and to thy name shall be the endless praise Jan 19 Attended a meeting of the Juvenile Temperance Society To me it was exceedingly interesting there is now quite an army of interesting youths connected with this society Jan 29 1849 I feel my unworthyness before God and would take my proper place at his feet and acknowledge myself a great sinner saved by grace I feel my need of help from on high that I may work in my family circle blamelessly before God It is true that those of my sex may sometimes do good in public but the family circle is the place when their influence once exerted and felt it is felt forever Who can tell the weight and importance of a mothers influence I have to assist me in the important work of training a daughter for heaven adopted the following rules Never give a command which you do not intend shall be obeyed When you do give a command invariably enforce its obedience Never punish when a child has not in tentionally done wrong Never think your child is too young to obey Guard against too much severity Always control yourself Never show a want of resolution As parents be united in governing Do not talk about children in their presence Do not make exhibitions of their attain ments Do not be continually finding fault Never punish by exciting imaginary fear Parents must have deep piety The mother must take her child by the hand and be its guide to the Savior Present religion in a cheerful aspect Watch for and diligently improve appro priate occasions to impart religious instruct ions Avoid inappropriate occasions Talk to your child of heaven as God has described it in his word Dwell upon the Savior Pray with your children Teach your children to pray Expect your children will become christians Do not speak of the piety of your child to others Mothers have as powerful an influ ence over their children as all other earthly causes combined May 21 The Lord is still merciful to me tho I am utterly unworthy of the least of his mercies I feel the need of a deeper work of grace in my heart O my Father renew my soul in righteousness My dear Frances is beginning to require cor rection and wholesome discipline I feel my insufficiency look to thee for help O my Father in training her for the skies We have held another annual meeting of our Juvenile Temperance Society It was very interesting and profitable to the children The Lord was heard and an swered my prayers, for this infant society The little band which I was permitted to organize six years ago has become quite a cold water army May The blessing of the Lord still rest upon the juvenile band My dear companion is away on an errand of mercy for his master O that the Lord may bless and direct him in all things Time is hurrying me on to eternity 31 years of my life have already past it is my hearts desire that what remains may be devoted to God June 24th My dear companion has gone to Fort George to see what can be done for the souls of the people. he has been absent several weeks, and writes me that he has been greatly blessed in his own soul, and I trust his efforts to preach will be crowned with success. O my Father attend thy wo( ) with thine own spirits power I think my devotion to God and his cause is becoming more consistent. O that I may hence forward, walk before the Lord with a perfect heart. Life is made up of little things. I fear that I have not always been so care ful of the happiness of others in small matters as I should have been. I would bear in mind, that nothing is a trifle which is displeasing to a friend, and that nothing is insignificant which gives pleasure to a friend.