Sunshine Tourtillott 2024

Abstract

DEVOTED TO THE AFTERMATH IS AN EDUCATIONAL AND ARTIST JOURNEY EXPLORING GRIEF, LOSS, AND SOCIAL STRUCTURE. USING FOUR COMPONENTS TO HIGHLIGHT MY PERSONAL FEELINGS IN LOSING FAMILY. I USE A COMBINATION OF PHOTOGRAPHY, CANOTYPE, SEWING, AND CREATIVE WRITING TO PROCESS MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND RESEARCH. MY PROJECT IS DEEPLY ROOTED IN RESEARCH IN THE AREAS OF GENEALOGY, RELIGION, AND GRIEF COUNSELING. USING MEDIUM FORMAT COLOR FILM, LIGHT, SHADOW, AND SHAPES TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS OF ISOLATION, MISSED OPPORTUNITY, AND LONELINESS. BUT THAT WASN’T ENOUGH. FOR A DECADE I HAD RESEARCH MY TOURTILLOTT FAMILY HISTORY GOING BACK TEN GENERATIONS. THIS PROCESS WAS VERY MUCH IN TUNE WITH THE LOSS OF FAMILY AND I WANTED TO INCLUDE THE FAMILY I HAD FOUND BUT KNOW I WANTED TO MAKE SOMETHING TANGIBLE THAT I COULD HOLD, THAT WOULD REMIND ME OF FAMILY. THE PROCESS OF CYANOTYPE AND SEWING WAS THAT PERFECT EXPRESSION. TAKING AND PROCESSING THE IMAGES, CUTTING THE COTTON FABRIC, DYING THAT FABRIC AND PROCESSING IT OUTSIDE GAVE ME LAYERS OF TIME TO CONNECT WITH EACH STEP AND MY EMOTIONS. PROCESSING THE CANOTYPES GAVE ME THE SPACE AND TIME TO SIT WITH WHAT I WAS CREATING, TO MAKE BONDED DECISIONS, AND MEET MY ANCESTORS. THE THIRD COMPONENT IS MY MEMOIR WHICH IS CREATIVE NONFICTION WRITTEN IN A DAIRY FORMAT. I DISCOVERED LANGUAGE TOWARD THE END OF THIS PROJECT AND COULD SEE THAT IN ORDER TO FULLY COMPLETE THE CIRCLE OF MY GRIEF FOR MYSELF AND MY AUDIENCE I NEED TO WRITE AND PRINT A MEMOIR. IT'S RAW, REAL, EMOTIONAL, AND HONEST.